Breastfeeding/time to quit

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Expert: - 12/18/2004


Question
Hi, my daughter is now 17 months old and i cannot get her to stop breastfeeding.  She will take a bottle if I am not home, but doesn't drink a sufficient amount of it. She drinks quite well from a cup as well but she will scream for the breast till i give into her.  she literally went on screaming from 11 at night till 5 in the morning.  I try to be strong and not give in but it so hared to wean her.  I don't mind giving her the breast during the day but its at night that she seems to just want to suck on it not really even drinking it, and when i take it she wakes and freaks out.  It has been getting worse lately with 4 more teeth coming in. She will wake up and want it every hour of the hour every single night lately.  I need help!!!!!!!!not sure where to turn my doctor doesnt have any answers justsays she is still a baby, but she isnt, she needs to stop waking 10 times a night.  What can or should i do?Any ideas or suggestions would help.

Thank you for your time,

Melissa

Answer
Dear Melissa,

First, congratulations for giving your daughter the best start in life by breastfeeding her!

I wrote an entire chapter about weaning in my book (see below), but I know that it can be very difficult to wean a toddler who just doesn't want to give up this very precious part of her life. I know this is a hard time in her life -- and in yours!

Try letting someone else give her a bottle every day while you go out for a short time. Then at night, when she cries, ask her father (or anyone else in the house) to go in to her, pat her, talk to her, offer her a bottle or anything else she might like, or go in yourself, but DO NOT NURSE HER. Be warm and loving in every other way. Keep doing this until she realizes that she is not going to get your breast. You'll have a few bad nights, but eventually she'll get the idea.

Good luck!

Sally

Sally Wendkos Olds
Author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING: Eiger & Olds, 3rd edition 1999, published by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books, and available in most public libraries, bookstores & La Leche League chapters.  

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Sally Wendkos Olds

Expertise

What do you want to know about breastfeeding? I can tell you what`s good for the baby, what`s good for the mother -- and the father, how it`s related to a woman`s sexuality, how working moms can nurse, how to overcome obstacles, and lots more. As the author of THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING and author or coauthor of 8 other books and more than 200 articles about child and adult development, I can offer sound, sensible advice on breastfeeding, child care and family issues.

Experience

I nursed my 3 daughters and am the grandmother of 5 breastfed children. My book THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING (written in consultation with pediatrician Marvin S. Eiger, M.D.) was first published in 1972, and in 1999 came out in an updated 3rd Edition by Workman Publishing & Bantam Books. It is now a classic, with over 2 million copies in print. I am now revising this book for a fourth edition, consulting with pediatrician Laura M. Marks, M.D. This new edition will be published September 2009. I welcome any and all suggestions for the new edition. I coauthored college textbooks A CHILD'S WORLD: INFANCY THROUGH ADOLESCENCE, and HUMAN DEVELOPMENT; both are leading texts in their fields and have been read by 2 million students. I am the coauthor of HELPING YOUR CHILD FIND VALUES TO LIVE BY and RAISING A HYPERACTIVE CHILD, and author of THE WORKING PARENTS' SURVIVAL GUIDE & THE ETERNAL GARDEN: SEASONS OF OUR SEXUALITY. My newest book, A BALCONY IN NEPAL: GLIMPSES OF A HIMALAYAN VILLAGE, published in 2002, tells the story of the way of life in a remote village in Nepal, where all the women breastfeed! My book, SUPER GRANNY: COOL PROJECTS, ACTIVITIES, AND OTHER GREAT STUFF TO DO WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS, will be published March 2009. I speak often to professional, parent and general audiences and make many radio and TV appearances.

Credentials I received my B.A. in English Literature from the University of Pennsylvania, where I minored in Psychology, was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and graduated summa cum laude.

Other points of interest I have received national awards for my writing, and am a former president of the American Society of Journalists & Authors. I am listed in the World Who's Who of Women, International Authors & Writers Who's Who, and Contemporary Authors, and am a member of several professional and civic organizations. I believe: that all parents are working parents; that parents employed outside the home need special support; that mothers' well-being is crucial to their children's welfare; and that the family is the best institution in the world and the one for which we are least prepared. My thrills come when parents or kids tell me they were helped by my writing or speaking or just understanding. To find out more about me, go to

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