Expert: Jaycie - 7/6/2010

Question
I'm 14 years old and the oldest of 4. Brother #1 is 10. Brother #2 is 8. My sister is 6. My youngest brother and my sister have some problems. My brother is autistic and ADD and stuff and my sister is majorly speech delayed. She talks like a 2 year old and shes 6. My other brother is always looking for attention and is really loud. Going out in public with them is really embarrassing. They never do as they are told and they are really loud so people always turn and stare at us like we're freaks. I just want to run away and hide. Lately we've had some money problems so my mom had to go back to work so instead of hanging out with friends or practicing soccer and my other sports, I'm stuck home with these monsters. The autistic one is always calling me names and trying to pick a fight, my sister is always whining and blubbering about something that we can't understand, and the other brother is just running around trying to get my attention by bugging the crap out of me and being really loud. The whole lot of them are loud. I hate it when its loud. I can't stand it anymore. I just want to hit them or something sometimes. I know sibling relationships are really good and they can be your best friends and stuff but with the age difference and stuff its hard to think that we'll have that good sibling friendship. What should i do to get that good sibling friendship and deal with them being so crazy? Sometimes i really wish i was an only child.

Answer
Talk to your mom about it. You do need to help with the younger kids but you still need to have your own life too. You will get closer to them and you will find out how much you love them but right now, you need to be doing some things on your own and not babysitting all the time. You can help out, and you should, but sign up for a sport or something or have an hour a day just for yourself and then one day a week just for yourself. Talk to your mom about it.

As for getting a good relationship, think of a game you can play with all of them. Take them outside and teach them how to play soccer. Everyone can kick a ball no matter how old they are. Do that one day and then do something another day. You need to spend time with them that will help you build memories instead of just bugging you. Play a board game. Play video games. Play tag. Go to a park. Anything like that will keep you together because they can be loud and not annoy you that much. Give it a try and let me know how it goes.