Brother & Sister Problems/Sibling Issues
Pumpykinmom wrote at 2013-03-30 00:51:42
I'm the mother of 2 kids that are exactly what you are saying. As painful as it is, I have had to stop contact with my son (23) because he will not do anything for himself. He has done this since he was 7. He had to be placed in a residential school because he wouldn't listen to me or his teachers. He blames everyone else for his problems and refuses to take ownership of any of his problems. He was kicked out of 7 residential programs and every one of them wasn't his fault. ( according to him). He is now 23 and lives in a motel with his girlfriend and TWO KIDS. 2yr old and 6 months. I have tried and tried to help him but I might as well beat my head on a brick wall because he won't even try. It's painful to watch someone you love destroy their life. He uses anyone and everyone he can. I've heard promises from him to be more accountable and " turning over a new leaf" more times I can count. Long story short, I have to cut out all communications because he instantly starts using me. He needs to learn to be responsible for his own life and the only way to do this is to give him no other option. It's painful but I know it's for his own good and hope that someday he will see that.
Your family needs to cut him off COMPLETELY because he would play the sympathy card cause he knows you care. He will make it seem like you are to blame for his situation, which you definitely are NOT! Trust me, he will figure out some way to deal with his issues. He will either get a job and take care of himself, or he will just find some other poor sap to help him. He isn't your responsibility. He is a big boy and he needs to grow up. Your family is making him this way. You are enabling his behavior when you help him. I'm sure you have enough problems of your own.