Expert: Bodhicitta - 1/17/2008

Question
I recently lost my fiance, who died after a serious medical condition.  I'm grieving and though I've read many books on loss, I'm wondering what the Buddhist view is, and how it may help my journey through this grief?

Answer
Hi Tess
Buddhism does say a lot about loss.

Of course Buddhism is the path of awakening , using meditation. So to really get to grips with the Buddha's
message you need to learn meditation from a teacher.

The Buddha taught about suffering - he said that people
suffer because they are attached to the wrong things.
we try and grasp tightly at the people and objects
around us, and yet they come and go and change.
thats the way it is. If we are always wishing nothing
changed and everything was permanent then we will always be
unhappy.

Buddhism is a search on how to be open , to enter complete openness. So our qualities that are beyond grasping can
shine. Like real love, real wisdom and real compassion.
Maybe our love can just shine out without needing feedback?
Maybe that is a love beyond life and death, permanence
in impermanence.

Buddhism also is a path of experience. No one can tell you
how you feel, or what is true . You have to find out.
But Buddhism is an invitation, meditation and openness
is the gateway.

I wish you well Tess
Bodhicitta