Expert: Justin Choo - 1/28/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hi Justinchoo. Though I deeply feel Theravada Buddhism is the right path for me I have some troubles in meditating. I feel some pain in my chest, and I know it's not a physical matter. I can't feel at ease, probably because of my previous Catholic education and my parents who were so angry when I told them I wanted to become a Buddhist. I feel guilty, in a certain way. But it only happens when  meditate. Please, what can I do? Thanks in advance, with metta.

ANSWER: Hi Loreno,

Thank you for asking me.

Most of us have problems meditating. This is because we are not attuned to meditation.  Our mind has not been tamed.  When we sit to meditate, our mind will definitely wander everywhere.  It is an agitated mind, untrained, untamed.  It is our master, and we have become its slave; giving in to its whims and fancies, succumbing to its gross and unsatiable desires.  Our meditation sitting is actually our "training session".  As with all training, we learn through mistakes and practice.  Given time, all of us will improve.  So please be patient.  I assume that you know the proper Buddhist meditation methods, and have practised the correct way.  Given that, then whenever you face the problem again, just note the feeling and "let go".  Do not indulge in concentrating on your problem.  This will further aggravate the problem.  You are adding fuel to the fire.  By just "note and let go", you are depleting the fuel.  When there is no fuel, there will be no fire.  If this problem does not diffuse, then just take a rest.  Stop meditating for a while, and the problem will eventually disappear.  

Looks like your parents are not accepting your choice.  Then as a good practising Buddhist, just practise quietly and don't discuss the subject with your parents; at least for now.  Remember, no fuel, no fire!  

Please come back if you need further clarification.

Smile from justinchoo :-)


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Junstinchoo. Thank you for your previous reply. Your words: "no fuel, no fire" are helping me very much. For what concerns my parents, I have already applied this attitude towards them: we do not argue about religion or Buddhism, but I know they are afraid and I feel the same for them, as i Am so enthusiastic I would like to explain them how much Buddhism is am influencing my life. But they are in their eighties, so I can understand their reject towards what's new for them.
I was wondering about this new question: can I practice Buddhism if I don't meditate? I think I can't practice Zen, really. But Buddhism is made up of compassion, of helping other people, of taking refuge in the three jewels, in reading and pondering the Tipitaka and so on... (things I am doing actually... what can you say about that?
Thanks in advance, and greetings from Italy.
Lorena

ANSWER: Hi Lorena,

Welcome back, and thank you for your excellent rating.  It is also human of me to feel happy when my effort is appreciated.  

You don't have to bring up the subject of Buddhism to your parents.  Just show them that your really love them and care for them.  This is enough Buddhism for them.  One day when they see the beauty in your heart, they will want you to tell them a little bit about Buddhism.

Buddhism is about the teachings of the Buddha.  So logically we need only to study the teachings of the Buddha and put them into practice.  Forget about which "Tradition" to follow.  It was never the intention of the Buddha to have his teachings differentiated into "Traditions".  Buddhism being a very liberal and accommodating teachings, are being assimilated into the various cultures of those who practise them.  These different rites, rituals and traditions actually have nothing to do with the Buddha's pristine teachings.  What you are doing now is the correct way.  However, if you chose to associate with any tradition, it is of no harm, so long as you keep to the Buddha's pristine teachings.  In the final analysis, just three simple instructions from the Buddha:
1. Avoid doing evil.
2. Do good.
3. Purify your mind.

Great knowing that I am able to communicate with someone from Italy, just by sitting here, moving my fingers, from a far away little island!     

Hope to hear from you in future.  Please keep in touch to spread the good news of your spiritual progress.

Smile from jutsinchoo :-)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Junstinchoo,
sorry for bothering you once again, but this time
I'll go straight to my question:
Is meditation essential to purify my mind or do I have some other "tool"? And: can I be feel a Buddhist in my heart  (it's not a matter of "labelling" myself towards others) if I don't meditate?
To thank you in advance, here's a quotation from Mark Twain's:
"I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't".

Well, if you set aside that little hint of proudness I can perceive in this sentence, the attitude is very good, isn't it?
Smile :-)
Lorena

Answer
Hi Lorena,

I'm happy you are back; but next time start afresh by clicking the "ask a question" so that you start a new thread.  Otherwise this thread will become too long.

<< Is meditation essential to purify my mind or do I have some other "tool"? >>
Let me give you an example.  If you wish to be a champion say, in tennis, then you have to put in great effort in your training.  However, without any training, you still can enjoy the game.  But you won't become a champion.

Meditation is training the mind to be mindful and alert; to guide the mind to think what we want it to think; to be master of the mind.  Without meditation, the mind has a greater tendency to control us, and we become its slave, succumbing to its whims and fancies, likes and dislikes.  With constant training through meditation, we have a better chance to stay alert, be a champion!  No matter what method you use, the ultimate target is still the mind, and there is no better way than the Buddha's meditation guide.  Of course, a person can still have a pure mind and be alert even without meditation. Some people are just born-leaders.

Smile from justinchoo :-)