Expert: Alex Wilding - 10/27/2008

Question
QUESTION: Dear Alex,
Hope this finds you in the best of your health and spirts.
My name is Rajendran Menon and I am from India. I have always been interested in spiritual subjects. About a year ago, I happened to read the ground breaking book 'The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying' by Sogyal Rinpoche and I got interested in Buddhism. What attracted me was the simplicity and the practical approach of Buddhism. I basically belive and try to practice this approach in life.
After that I have read many books on Buddhism including the original 'Tibetan Book of the Dead'. However, this one was a bit too complex for me to follow.

Coming to the question I want to ask you,
As per the information that I have read, once you are dead, you will have a re-birth (unless you got enlighted and liberated from the endless cycles of Samsara) within a maximum period of 49 days. For an average person, this is around 30 days. Now once you are re-born, you are different person in different surroundings, shaped by your previous karma. Now when people die, there are many rituals and prayers conducted for the benefit of the departed. Now the question is once you have taken a re-birth, will the prayers of those still living will have any effect on you ?
Let me explain this a bit more in detail.
I have two sons. When I die, they will be doing my last rites and also every year they may do annual rituals and prayers. After my death, within a period of 49 days, I might have had a re-birth and may be living somewhere else. Now when my sons of my pervious life prays for me and conducts rituals, how will it affect me in me new life ? Will it have any affect ?
According to Buddhism, while you are in the bardo, prayers do have an effect. But then, once you are re-born and out of the bardo, then will they have an effect ? As per Buddhism, they conduct yearly prayers for those who are dead.

I hope that I have tried to make my question clear to you.

Thanking you in advance for your time.

With Warm Regards
Rajendran Menon


ANSWER: Hi Rajendran,
That's a detailed question you have posed.
You have obviously by now discovered that the "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" is not really the same thing as the "Tibetan Book of the Dead". A translation of the "Liberation by Hearing in the Bardo" (which is a translation of the Tibetan name of the text) was published under the name of the "Tibetan Book of the Dead" early last century. I think the name was chosen to reflect some of the popularity of the "Egyptian Book of the Dead", as the Egyptian mysteries had been wildly popular in some sectors of Victorian society. Similarly, Sogyal's book of teachings was titled to echo the "Tibetan Book of the Dead", but its contents are only loosely related.
But to get to your real question, I think it's important not to be too literal about these times. Tenga Rinpoche, for instance, says that the "49 days" are really 49 meditation-like experiences that someone who has practiced this system will experience. It is said that for many people these experiences will go by in such a flash that they will not even be noticed, but an advanced practitioner, on the other hand, may stay at stages like the absorption into the true nature of the mind for several days.
In other words, the "49 days" is a notional time; it is the time during which rites are carried out for a highly revered lama, but it is expected that the "real" time someone spends in the intermediate state can vary enormously.
You will, I expect, already know that according to these teachings we are always in some bardo or other - nothing stays the same, and at the moment we are experiencing the bardo between birth and death. So if you accept that prayers for a specific individual are helpful at all, there is no reason as far as I can see why they should should not in some way be helpful even after a further birth. On the other hand, of course, with the general idea of rebirth in the background, it is more usual for specific prayers for a specific deceased individual to be left off after the 49 days: prayers for the welfare of all sentient beings, and prayers that everyone's next birth will be a good one are an ongoing part of regular Buddhist practice. The "Prayer for Rebirth in Dewachen", for instance, where we pray that we and all sentient beings will be reborn in Amitabha's pure land next time is very popular, and a lot of people include it, or something similar, in their daily recitations.
Does that help at all?

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Alex,

Thank you for the prompt response. this is the first time I am asking a question on Buddhism.
You have clarified my doubt.
As far as learning the teachings of Buddha, I have not even started. I am standing at the base of the mountain and staring at the awesome sight. How will I go about this ? I know that it requires a teacher to learn the teachings correctly. Due to my location and myself being a family man, I am finding it difficult to learn the teachings in the way it is supposed to be followed. However, I am trying to put into practice whatever information that I have learned from the books.  The book 'Eight Steps To Happiness' is one of the best I have ever read on the subject.

I want to do a Vipassana course and may be later impart whatever knowledge I have to others...

May all living Sentient beings are well
May all living sentient beings are happy
May all living sentient beings are free from Misery
May all living sentient beings are free from suffering
May all living sentient beings are filled with Joy
May all living sentient beings are filled with loving kindness
May all living sentient beings are filled with Peace.

Thanks and Regards

Rajendran

Answer
Hi Rajendran,
My advice, for what it's worth, would have to be "slowly". There are a lot of Buddhists in the modern world who combine serious practice and study with a "normal" life in the world. That's not to say that it can't be a struggle, but it can be done. What is your location?