Expert: Justin Choo - 2/7/2008

Question
QUESTION: I am reading more about the disciplines and viewpoints that that Buddhism follows this unique way of life. The part that troubles me is how it is mentioned that things that make us suffer are actually caused from our mind perceiving them so. Suppose you have attained the new understanding of pain's origins as well as happiness, I feel like you stop being human. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good to understand the richness of life. If something horrible happened to your family, you're telling me that you wouldn't feel sad because you managed to filter out what caused that pain? Or did they stop meaning that much to you because spent to much time looking for that ideal happiness? I am not attacking anyone but I can't find information about how people who have been in the practice for long time confront the world. It is always about life before they step into the faith. Thank You

ANSWER: Hi Dani G,

Thank you for asking me.

The Buddha warned that all conditioned things are transient, they cannot last forever. Anyone who seeks or chases after happiness will be very disappointed in the end. However, this does not mean that a person should not be happy when conditions are right. The warning is that at any time these happy conditions may change. To an uninitiated person the absence of such happy conditions or the presence of negative conditions will trigger a state of unhappiness. The wise Buddhist approach to life is to be contented with the things we have, be happy when conditions are right, and be careful when conditions are not right. We have to ride through the waves of living conditions, the ups and the downs. In so doing, we live a guarded contented life. Since happiness is a conditioned state of mind, we cannot be happy if sad events occur. To be happy when our loved one dies is madness.


Hope this helps.

Justinchoo :-)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: So if I understand correctly, when an unfortunate event occurs a Buddhist will respond more guardedly to it. Do you still cry? Was the Buddha ever mad for anything after his awakening? I understand things come and go, I just want to know what do you do for instance when something bad happens? Someone steals from you/ offended you..etc. Sorry, I have so many questions. Off the the topic is it true, Buddhists shouldn't dance or drink?

Answer
Hi Dani G,

Before proceeding to answer you, please understand that the Buddha's teachings are for us to follow if we find them reasonable.  The Buddha never commanded or forced anyone to follow his teachings.  His advice was that if you did certain things as advised by him you should experience peace and contentment.  If the person chose not to, then let it be.   

Another reminder would be that "Buddhists" are just ordinary people, except that they try to practise the Buddha's teachings.

<< So if I understand correctly, when an unfortunate event occurs a Buddhist will respond more guardedly to it. Do you still cry? >>

It depends on how much the person has cultivated his mind, especially through meditation.  It also depends on the inborn emotional character of the person.  Ordinary persons will react in the ordinary manner.  As most of us are just ordinary mortals, I suppose it is natural of us to cry over sad events.  However, with constant practise, we may reduce the tendency to over-react to bad or sad events.


<<Was the Buddha ever mad for anything after his awakening? >>

The Buddha was a very different person.  He was no longer an ordinary person.  He was THE Buddha, the fully enlightened one.  He would not succumb to the vissicitudes of life.

<<Off the the topic is it true, Buddhists shouldn't dance or drink?>>

Buddhists try to adhere to the 5 precepts.  The fifth is to refrain from taking intoxicating substances.  The reason is to avoid being intoxicated which will lead to foolish and even dangerous consequences.  For ordinary Buddhists, they can dance all night!!

Actually Buddhists are no slaves to commandments.  We only need to consider 3 conditions:
1. Is the action harmful to oneself?
2. Is the action harmful to others?
3. Is the action beneficial?


Smile from justinchoo :-)