Expert: Stuart Resnick - 7/23/2008

Question
Hi, here is a question which i don't really understand and i would be very happy for you helping me answer it; :-)
How can Buddhists be happy all the time when people are dying, suffering. I know when you take refuge you are supposed to have a more energy, happy flow around you, but how can we free our mind from distractions in meditation if a close friend has died? Thank you.

Answer
Where did you get the idea that Buddhists are happy all the time?

Buddhism points to our original mind, which is like a clear mirror. When red appears, the mirror is red; white appears, only white. This mind has no I/my/me, so it can be used to act for all beings. When someone is happy, I'm happy. When someone is sad, I'm sad. Without clinging to "I want," it's OK to be happy sometimes and sad sometimes.

You write that "when you take refuge you are supposed to have a more energy, happy flow around you." It's better to throw away any ideas about what's "supposed to" happen, and instead just examine your just-now experience, just as it is.

It's like a car that hits a bump: it wobbles for a while, then the shock absorbers steady it. So in a happy situation, just be happy; in a sad situation, just be sad. But don't CLING to anything. When the happy or sad situation is done, return to simple clear mind. This mind can't be explained or captured with words and thoughts, but each of us can experience it for ourselves, just now.

In the Korean-style Zen that I practice, we use the mantra "Ji Jang Bosal" to direct our energy to helping someone who's died in their journey to the next life. So when a friend has died, you can put down I/my/me and just repeat "Ji Jang Bosal" with the intention of helping your friend. Trying to help other beings is better than seeking happiness for yourself.