Expert: Justin Choo - 7/26/2008

Question
Are buddhist allowed to have sex? If they are, is there anything that they are limited to?

Answer
Hi Anna,

Thank you for asking me.

To the general populations of the world, religion means surrendering themselves to the dictates of the All Powerful and/or His "appointed" henchmen. All commandments must be obeyed. My dear friend, the Buddha did not preach this type of doctrine. His teachings were always as admonitions, advising his listeners to take heed. If they chose not to accept his advices, it was their business and the Buddha would just go his way. In Buddhism, there is nothing not allowed. The Buddha just pointed out that certain actions were good which would yield good results; while certain actions were bad and would yield bad results. It was up to the person whether to listen to him or not. Whichever he chose, he would bear the consequences.

When we have a very clear understanding of the Buddha's teachings, we will realize that the Buddha had prescribed different levels of practice for different types of people. Broadly, we can divide them into two categories: one for the very serious practitioners seeking ultimate liberation; and the other one is for those who are lay persons like you and me, living a worldly life with its pleasures and displeasures. Rightly so, the first group will practise austerities. As for us, the Buddha prescribed the five precepts. The third precept states that we should not commit sexual misbehaviour. That's all. So, there is nothing about sexual abstinence. We humans are a very hypocritical species. We are so conscious of our sex lives. Every second, humans have the sexual urge. It occupies the central part of the mind. And yet, humans try to hide this physiological characteristic. As a defensive shield, they introduce all sorts of rules and commandments to cover up this "shameful" and "sinful" sexual indulgence. This guilt feeling is thus perpetrated through time. In the name of religion, sexuality becomes a "sin". And a greater sin if the person is "different" in his/her sexual orientation.

Buddhism is all about living in peace and contentment. What sexual orientation one may have, has no bearing to living a peaceful and contented life. Throughout history, societies have always wanted to play "God" and impose "moral" judgement on others who do not "behave" like them; not that their moral codes are necessarily correct. The Buddha did not introduce any "new" or "special" moral standard for his followers, but advised them to think and analyze by using their human intelligence and just plain common sense. We do not have to depend on any "super power" or anyone for that matter to teach us what is generally right or wrong; for example; stealing, killing, and telling lies. Likewise we don't have to succumb to others' opinions about our own private lives. There are actually only three simple rules which we need to consider for everything:
1. Is the action harmful to oneself?
2. Is the action harmful to others?
3. Is the action beneficial?

Wishing you peace and happiness :-)

Smile from Justin Choo :-)

[I like to invite you to visit my blog:]
http://lifeislikethat999.blogspot.com/

[And this blog by Rev. Dhammika:]
http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/