Expert: Bodhicitta - 8/25/2008

Question
Hello Bodhicitta, My wife and I have been attending grief counseling for some time now, and we have been moving around a lot looking for a safe place to live while we heal. Unfortunately we find ourselves in a very bad area which is constantly noisy and full of extremely inconsiderate people to put it mildly.  

I have been considering enrolling us in some Buddhist retreats - perhaps weekends just to get some peace and some time to reflect and be around decent people. We don't have any major psychological problems and are practicing several hours of silent contemplation per day already. We are also both on a pension.

I'd just appreciate your advice. Weekends here are hell (it's a working class holiday town - motorbikes through protected parkland, drinking and parties all through the night, and constant building and land clearing) and yet I feel a great sense of peace looking at these retreat websites, an uncommon feeling for me. I am trying to trust more in my feelings and they seem to be leading me in this direction.

I'd also like to do some volunteering and perhaps work towards an extended residency at one centre or do some traveling between centres. Anyway, appreciate your time.

Answer
Hi Ash
Thanks for your open hearted and sincere sharing and request.

I feel you are on a spiritual journey and have a good healthy attitude
to working and sharing your energy with others in your quest.

I do not as a rule recommend specific places of Buddhist groups. I feel
there are plenty of web sites and groups as you have found. They would
best give their own information.

If you want some advice as to how to find somewhere then I can say one or two things based on my own personal experience.

There are two types of retreat communities. The first perhaps could be described as non-denominational. Perhaps not connected to any specific style of Buddhism , maybe not even confined to Buddhism. The second might be a very specific style of guided retreated connected to a specific form of Buddhism.

You need to be clear which type of community you are looking for and
which types are the ones you have discovered. I would say take a lot
of time and space for yourselves to discover something that feels right. Don't jump into a community too quickly. Most sensible
communities would invite you slowly to participate and discover
what they are offering. So take small steps. Dip your toes into a few
pools. Maybe think of finding good retreats as a journey in itself
maybe taking many years. I would be wary of any community that pulls you in too quickly and involves some type of commitment after only a few month or years.

The other thing I would put to you is the following. Retreat
is perhaps only a state of mind rather than a place. This might
be good to contemplate. We all can benefit from going to remote places and recharging our batteries. But I think if Buddhism has any reality
then we must also find the Buddha in the town.So maybe there
is an inner quest too which is connected to the outer quest.
Maybe each step on the inner quest will help you discover
that everywhere is a beautiful Buddha land and all people are
Buddha's if we were Open enough. So maybe we should retreat into
our hearts and see everywhere as retreat?

I wish you luck on your quest
Bodhicitta