Expert: Justin Choo - 8/10/2008

Question
In Buddhism, how does one deal with the concept of seeing again or reuniting with loved ones who have died?  I know there is no ultimate "place" (such as a heaven) to be reached, but is there any teaching regarding being with loved ones once again.  I apologize if my question is confusing, I have only just begun my journey by trying to learn as much about buddhism as possible.  I understand that we are not to fear death and I find that my fear is not so much that death happens, but, coming from a Christian upbringing, I find that my fear truly lies in the possibility of never again seeing my deceased family members in a later time/state/life etc.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you

Answer
Hi Lauren,

Welcome to the path of contentment and inner peace.  Please take your time to learn more of the teachings of the Buddha and in time to come you will find the answers yourself.  

For now, I shall give you simple answers.  The Buddha did comment that our existence had been going on for so long that the probability of those we meet would have been related to us in the past.  Of course what you have in mind is not this version of meeting.  Your Christian upbringing would have inculcated in your mind thinking that after this life you would still know your "self" and the others as well.  The Buddhist concept is very different.  Our lives are like streams.  Although you see the stream, the waters are not the same.  A human being is made up of this physical body and the stream of consciousness.  This stream of consciousness is just like the stream, continuously flowing.  No two moments are the same yet there is this continuity of the flow.  The Buddha described this stream of consciousness as neither exactly the same nor completely different.

In this sense, even if we unite with our relatives, chances are that we would not even know.  Just like when we meet a friend who was our previous relative, we wouldn't even know that.

Hope this helps.

Justin Choo :-)