Expert: Joe McSorley - 9/2/2008

Question
I have practiced Zazen for two years off and on, most recently (last 5 months) I have been practicing shikantaza 4 times a day for 20-30 minutes each time as well as walking/mindfulness meditation for 1 to 3 hours a day providing the time is there. I have experienced many things including ability to stay present for hours at a time, I have rid myself of a lot of suffering and have also experienced a level of emotion that sent me to the counselor. Although I feel confident in my practice and that I am moving in the right direction into deeper consciousness and liberation I sometimes wish I had someone that I could trust to guide me on the path, help me focus when my ego has empowered my consciousness.

How do I find a teacher and know that he is a strong teacher, that he has gained an extremely high level of consciousness if not enlightenment and can guide me?

Answer
Dear Roland,
   This is always a very difficult question for me to answer. It is very difficult to find a legitimate teacher these days.  I have met a few in recent years who were ‘authenticated’ by different monasteries here in the US.  When I heard their lectures I was sadly dismayed at their understanding of Zen and it showed me a real lack of true insight or even academic understanding.  
 There are not levels of consciousness in Zen; awakening is mind and body ‘fallen off’.   There cannot be degrees or rank here though I know that many teaching today or who have websites do claim exactly this.  If the self is empty what has rank?  If we don’t have a good understanding of Zen, right thinking, then we can construct all kinds of matrixes about it, create levels and realms and whatever.  It is realizing that we don’t have a problem that we, ourselves, are the problem.  We are not a shell, a soul or some other thing that has a problem but we, as we are, are the problem.  How does that which creates the problem solve the problem?  It is not that we have this thing called ego we must subdue but that we are the ego and that is what stops us from overcoming our dilemma.  That which works on the problem itself, that which does shinkantaza, mindfulness and all other practices is the problem.  The Zen quote “To seek awakening is itself is hell creating karma” really sums it up. We are what stands between ourself and awakening.  Years ago I asked my teacher “With all I know, practice and study, why aren’t I awakened”?  He responded, “Because you ask that question”.  So we are not trying to modify the self, add to it or ‘smooth the corners’ as one priest recently said to me, we are trying to set the conditions so that the self is annihilated and then reconstructed from the root.  Going deeper into consciousness is reaffirming a self that is going into consciousness.
    The way I find Zen taught today is some conglomeration of Dogen, New Age and ‘free flowing self-expression’.   I don’t know how it turned into this but it may be just an American thing but it misses the point.  I tell you all this because I really don’t know where you would find a teacher.  The few I know that are qualified are far from the public eye and they don’t engage in much public discourse.  
  It is almost impossible for you to tell if someone is legitimate anyway.  If someone is selling themselves as awakened they generally are not.  For you to recognize awakening you must be awakened; it takes one to know one.  On more than one occasion I have been with an awakened master in a room full of people and no one recognized him as genuine.  At the same time they did get swept away by the ear to ear grins and the far away gazes of other teachers who were in the room at the same time and commented that they must be awakened by their expressions.  I have found that the teachers that are most threatening to you in a deep and existential way are the ones that are real.  They do not reinforce who you are but rather constantly challenge you to present who you are.  When you hand them something they take it away, when you present nothing they give it back to you.  They don’t give you an inch to wiggle in. They also take challenges from the student, a real teisho.  Most teachers I meet today do not do this or they face legitimate questions with absurd responses imitating the masters of old.  There was a group led by a priest near me and they ended their zazen with a prayer. One line in it was ‘happiness for the lion and the lamb’.  Someone asked, “If happiness for the lion is eating the lamb, how do you reconcile it”.  The priest chastised the student for raising the question and said, “If you were at my level, you’d understand”.  This is nonsense.  A legitimate teacher should be able to face such a question without getting defensive and hiding behind a status symbol.  
  Ultimately you are your own best teacher.  You should use the writings of the original teachers to guide you and be absolutely honest with yourself.  Practice to overcome practice.  It is not until there is no separation between practice and non-practice that you begin to get somewhere.   Practice without anticipation; throw mind and body into it.  I think the ox herding pictures are a great representation of the struggle.  Forget about goals and just do it purely.  Shinkantaza is not about sitting but about all aspects of life.  Keep at it and hopefully you will find a teacher.  How will you recognize him?
  I am sorry that I could not be of more help.  I know the path is difficult.  
  Take care,
           Joe