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Question
Hi there, I am wondering if there is a specific mudra or breathing exercise or meditation you can tell me of that will help me deal with a domineering intrusive father who keeps trying to control me. I would like to deal with this situation in a peaceful manner as often talking about it with him either keeps things the same or makes them worse so I am focusing now on working on myself from within so that my external reality changes.  any help on this? thanks :)

Answer
Hi,
Actually, I'm sorry, I have nothing specific to suggest.
I have no doubt that your idea of working on yourself from within is a good approach in these circumstances; if you can try to remember that *precisely when* your father is being domineering and intrusive, it is likely that he is doing that out of a deep-seated fear. If you can see that - even as he is acting in a way that is difficult - this is a result (and a cause) of his own suffering, you may find that this gives you a bit more inner space to deal with the situation.
I hope that is a bit of help...
Best wishes
AW

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Alex Wilding

Expertise

I have practiced and studied Tibetan Buddhism in the Kagyu and Nyingma traditions since the early 1970s, and have a good knowledge of theory, history and of the struggles of trying to practice the teachings, including meditation, while leading a normal, modern life. I am also available to provide background information for journalists.

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I have been a practitioner since the early 1970s; have run a small Buddhist centre in the English Midlands and was vice-president of Kagyu Benchen Ling e.V. in Germany, for whom I managed three large Buddhist summer-camps. More importantly, I maintain a habit of personal practice. I am the "owner" of the Kagyu list at Yahoo.

Education/Credentials
My first degree was an M.A. from Oxford. I later obtained a Master of Philosophy degree for a research thesis in "Initiation in Tibetan Buddhism" from Leicester University. I also have engineering and educational qualifications.

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