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You are here: Experts > Homework Help > Buddhism > Buddhists > renunciation in buddhism
Buddhists - renunciation in buddhism
Expert: Laurie McLauglin - 10/30/2009
Question
Hi Laurie,
I'm 25, female, British and have been practising Buddhist meditation for about a year. I have a question regarding renunciation in Buddhism.
I read a lot of Buddhist articles, discussions and things on the internet and in books. Many of them seem to say that renunciation (either physical or mental) of worldly possessions, hobbies and interests, singing and dancing, family ties, friendships, work etc is advisable in order to progress spiritually.
What is the real difference between the "worldly" life and the "spiritual" life? Most things I read seem to regard the so-called "worldly" life with contempt. What is this worldly life?
Is it chasing after money and fortune (which I do not do)?
Is it wanting a loving relationship (which I do, but how going to a monastery would help with that I do not know. Also - I do not particularly wish to renounce my desire for a loving relationship - to love and be loved seems pretty natural and human to me).
Is it fulfilling a role in the family, thus providing love and support to those around (which I do, which I am happy to do, and which brings me and my family members around me love, security and enjoyment).
Is it listening to music (which I do - I think Beethoven's 9th symphony is the greatest piece of music ever composed and I think, as many people before me have thought, that it has elements of the divine. The title is "Ode to Joy" and the words go like this: "All men become brothers." Is this an ill-inducing worldly pleasure? How about dancing and singing? I have sung in choirs before, and one of the most powerful and beautiful experiences of my life was singing in the chorus of Beethoven's 9th symphony. Over one hundred human beings, each in his / her own private world, coming together to create a harmony, singing about all men becoming brothers.... is this a worldly pleasure that it would be best to renounce?
Or perhaps it's work. I am a language teacher. Would it be conducive to my happiness to renounce this? Languages, changeable and unreliable as they are (yes, I know that important feelings and concepts cannot be defined in words), are also incredibly beautiful. Listen to Pablo Neruda's poetry (though it's nicer written in Spanish!): "I do not love you as the plant that never blooms, but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers" and tell me that's just another human foible, a worldly pleasure to be renounced!
Is it friendship with non-Buddhists? I've read many accounts of people renouncing their friends to pursue something "higher", more spiritual. I have a wide circle of friends, some of whom I feel a deep connection with. With the closest of my friends, I can talk about more or less anything. We can sit in silence and be completely at ease. We can often understand each other without having to say anything at all. We can laugh for no reason. These are probably just meaningless worldly delusions that should be give up for something better.
Tell me that these are things to renounce, and I'll consider it.
Best wishes,
Katy Yelland
Answer
Hello Katy -
Thank you for letting me answer your question.
This worldly life is called "Samsara". It is the cycle of birth, ageing, sickness and death. It is a place full of suffering. Buddha Shakyamuni before he became Buddha Shakyamuni saw much suffering. So his first teaching "The First Turning of the wheel of Dharma" was about suffering - The Four Noble Truths. He taught that we are unhappy and we suffer because we do not see the world as it is. We grasp at things as permanent and unchanging that will by their very nature change. All things change. But we refuse to accept that and that leads to suffering.
Since this worldly life is full of changeable suffering, it is to be let go of. We should renounce it because all it will lead to is suffering. Instead, we should work on our minds and by working on our minds we will be able to find peace and calm. We will learn to see the world as it truly is and stop our own suffering. We will never have to suffer any more.
But as long as we cling and grasp at things like posessions and relationships, we will surely always suffer.
When I was considering whether or not to become Budddhist, I had the same thoughts as you. I loved music and pretty things and could not imagine living without them. I love Beethoven's Ninth the best too.
Buddha never said you could not enjoy things in this world. He simply said that they bring suffering. So if you like Beethoven's Ninth, continue to listen to it. But if you follow the Buddha, you will learn not to have attachment to it. It is the attachment that will cause you suffering. Let us say you love classical music a lot. Let us say it brings you much emotional pleasure - so much so you could not imagine living without it. What happens if one day, you begin to go deaf. Now you will suffer because you realize that you will have to live without something you are so attached to. However, instead when you listen to Classical music you can truly appreciate it and enjoy it but you create no attachement to it, then if you go deaf, you will not suffer. There will be nothing you lost.
Remember, Buddha taught everything so that we stop suffering.
Again, chasing after money means that you have an attachment to it and you might even hurt someone so that you get more money than the other person. Then not only are you suffering but you are causing suffering to others.
However, if you simply recognize that you must have money to live and puruse a career that does least damage to other sentient beings to get it then there is no harm. If you lose the money you have, you will not be unhappy because you know that the nature of things is impermanence. If you get a lot of money, you will not grasp at it because you know that grasping causes suffering.
But you must have money to live here in the West especially. If you have money to live where you are not always wondering where your next meal will come from then rejoice - that means you will have more time to practice the Dharma and improve yourself so you can become enlightened and if you are a Mahayana practitioner, you can then help others become enlightened.
Of course it is fine to love and be loved. Again, it is fine if you can learn to do it with no attachment. If your lover dies suddenly, you will not become depressed or commit suicide. If you can learn the tools to do this, then you will not suffer and because you are not suffering you will more easily be able to help others. Eventually of course, when you have reached a high enough state of understanding of the dharma teachings, then you will probably choose a celibate life and you will renounce the world because by doing that it will allow you time to practice the dharma more and the more time you practice the sooner you will become enlightened.
Buddha Shakyamuni taught 84 thousand teachings. Why did he teach so many? Each teaching he gave he tailored it for his specific audience.
He knew that each group or individual he taught was at a different stage in their emotional and spiritual development. So he said that just as a doctor would not prescribe the same medicine to two different people for two different illnesses, neither did he teach in the same way to everyone. He taught each person the lessons they needed to hear the way they needed to hear it.
So for some people like myself, living in a Buddhist Retreat Center and wishing to ordain as a Buddhist Nun at 51 years of age after working in professional theatre for 30 years, I am ready for a bit more renunciation than someone who has not had the life experiences I have.
You are in your prime - you are in the middle of experiencing the joys the world has to offer. So of course it would not seem right to you to just drop everything and renounce the world.
However - where all human beings are the same is that we all suffer. And Buddha did come to understand why we suffer and each of his 84 thousand teachings was trying as hard as he could to help each and every sentient being to be free of suffering.
We suffer because we grasp at things and hold on to them and expect them not to change or leave us. When the do change as they must because change is the law of the world, we suffer - unless we learn to train our minds to see things as they really are - dependant arisings - that they are created, they abide for a while and then they leave or die or disappear - like notes in a musical score.
Perhaps all Buddha was trying to get us to see was to enjoy the notes as they arise and then let them go. If we held on to the fist note of the Ode to Joy, there would be no second note. But we allow them to arise we enjoy them and let them pass away and allow other notes to arise.
We suffer because we cling to things of the past and are frightened or worried about things in the future - all we have is now - that is what the teachings say - that is what meditation teaches -
But instead we allow our egos to hold on to things in the past and don't want them to change - then we suffer when they do. If we slowly, slowly teach our egos to let go of grasping to the past or attaching to what might happen in the future then we will not suffer.
Then eventually, slowly, slowly, when we are ready we will begin to realize that this world of samsara - changeable suffering - is to be abandoned because it can only bring suffering - but only when we are ready should we renounce it - otherwise, if we renounce it before we are ready, we will suffer - and Buddha in his great compassion would never want anyone to suffer for any reason.
I hope some of that made sense.
Don't hesitate to ask any further questions if you wish.
And I hope you get to Sing Ode To Joy again soon as it is truly beautiful.
Namaste - Laurie
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