Expert: Anandapanyo Bhikkhu - 11/20/2009

Question
Hi Anandapanyo Bhikkhu thanks for reading. I just have two question:

I'm a beginner meditator and sit in the burmese posture, (it feels more stable than in a chair) however after 10 minutes or so I get strong pins and needles in my feet. As far as I know this kind of sensation is common and I should simply return to the breath. My only concern is that I have Raynaud's phenomenon: http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/adam/images/en/raynauds-phenomenon-picture.j... which happens in response to cold and stress, however when I sit my feet go a bit grey and whitish on the soles, nevertheless after walking a bit I feel fine afterwards and during group meditation I didn't find anyone else to be in any less pain than I was.

The only thing is the concern brings an element of uncertainty to my meditation practice, I'm not sure if I should continue the posture or simply carry on as normal. What's your advice?


_______________________



Also, I've lived a lot of my life writing stories, and a very central aspect of that for me seems to be to catch stories as they unfold in my mind when they do and become engrossed in them enough to jot them down as they're happening. How would I reconcile that with the idea that it is unhealthy to attach myself to stories or get involved with them. For instance I might specify a time of the day where my mind is allowed to wander, but often idea's will pop up at other times of the day and if I don't catch them I may lose apart of my writing, however there is also the problem that when I do catch them on paper when they arise I get involved, absorbed with the story and lose a lot of what is happening or available in the present moment, but then there's the thing that if I don't write my story thoughts as they are happening they may lose a lot of their immediacy and impact. Yea um, so um, I just wanted some thoughts on how I might reconcile these two things. Thanks.

Answer
Dear Selfie,

Thank you for the opportunity to answer your question.

As for your first question, I am not sure what your main goal is in meditating, but assuming it is just to rest your mind or achieve temporary tranquility. If your restriction in meditation is physical, that is hard to overcome. If it is mental, you should fight through it. However, there are many postures in which meditation can occur. Meditation merely means to concentrate. Therefore, technically, you can concentrate anywhere. You can concentrate while walking, talking, eating, moving or reading. Therefore, you can practice meditation all the time. I would recommend changing your position. Try sitting in a chair with your legs hanging. Try walking meditation. Try standing meditation. We as human beings must learn how to adapt ourselves, both mentally and physically. If your body is telling you that long sitting is not right for you, adapt.

As for your second question, you are close to proper Buddhist practice. Instead of allowing your mind to wander, you should evaluate the wandering thoughts. For example,

You think:
It would be nice if I had a million dollars (who hasn't thought this right?)

Then you should ask yourself:
What would it really be like?
Will I have to pay taxes? - If I don't and get caught, then what? - If I do, how will I report all of it?
What about people around me, will they start asking me for money? If I say no, will they be angry and upset with me?
Will people try to cheat me or steal the money from me?

The reason for this: to see the suffering in your fantasy. Many times we have fantasies (our thoughts) and forget to think about the reality. Once we catch the reality, often times our fantasies will fade away and become reality.

After you see the suffering you should ask yourself:
Will it definitely be like I think it will be?
What are the possible outcomes?
What is the true probability of each outcome?

The reason for this: to see the impermanence of your thoughts. Oftentimes we think our thoughts are set in stone, but they are not. We base our feelings and decisions on things with flimsy evidence.

Once you learn to see the suffering in our fantasies and the impermanence of our thoughts, we will see the world as it really is, not as we want it to be. This way, we will finally have true happiness. If you need further help with how to think so as to not torment yourself, feel free to give me an example of some actual thoughts and I will help you ask the right questions.

I hope I have sufficiently answered your questions.

Sincerely,

Phra Anandapanyo