Expert: Justin Choo - 11/13/2009

Question
QUESTION: I understand things learned from buddhism on right speech. The issue is the staff under my care many a times does not perform the necessary function in accordance to requirement and has lackadaisical attitude despite numerous soft talk and counseling. Can i reprimand them in stronger word, which as taught by buddhism is wrong to do so. Then how again am i going to handle the issue when the staff does not behave despite such action.Again can I take punitive action of denying them the pay increment which seem cruel if done so. Would i face the consequence like bad karma if done without any malicious intention except to make them realize that they are paid to do a proper job.I am being realistic as some people just need to be punish to make them feel the cost of inappropriate performance .


ANSWER: Hi sp,

Welcome back.

I hope my earlier answer meets your expectation.

Your question here requires similar perception as your earlier question on "killing".  There are factors that will seem at faults with one another for a layperson trying to "implement" Buddhist ideals into worldly affairs, without first considering the prevailing circumstances.  As I said before, it is very important that we use our wisdom to discern what is beneficial and practical.  We cannot just follow blindly Buddhists ideals and try to apply them irrespective of the circumstances and other "side effects" that others or even you yourself might suffer unnecessarily.  In other words, we should not be "good-hearted" fools.  We have to use our human intelligence and common sense to practise the teachings of the Buddha.  When we can do this, then it is said that we have wisdom to decide on the most appopriate actions for each specific situation.

"Right speech" doesn't mean we must always speak softly.  It means "abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, and from idle chatter."

Take care.

Justin Choo



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: As indicated in my note. i wish to elaborate that the strong words represent intonation of anger and also raised voice with stern wordings that appear to be abusive as any scolding would be unpleasant. I felt somewhat uneasy and awaringly remorseful with some restraining action on my part which if not control may go full blown thereby causing the situation to be more nasty . After the action of reprimanding the staff, I am mindful of my action, causing me to feel defeated and unlearned in the context of 'right speech'
Should i stop the reprimanding the staff .

Answer
Hi sp,

First we must understand that in each of us, there are the good traits and the not-so-good traits.  These we call the personality traits of a person.  It is my personal opinion that many of these traits are very strongly ingrained in the mind of the person making it very difficult to change.  So most of us will continue to display these traits until we die.  Having made my point, I would also agree that most of us can make effort to change for the better.

In your case, you are right to feel remorse for the unskilful conduct of your communication.  What is past cannot be changed.  But in future you can be more mindful and careful when communicating with your colleagues.  I take it that it is your job to guide and supervise members of your staff which means you will need to continue with this responsibility.  In layman's language you would need to be more "diplomatic" by using some PR techniques in order not to to fall into "wrong speech" again.

It is easy for me to be an arm-chair "adviser" but let me asure you that I too am no better in practice!  But we still must try not to repeat our mistakes.  Some people are "lucky" with inborn pleasant personalities, while others have to strive harder to be pleasant.  Such is the realities of life.

Take care.

Justin Choo