Expert: Joe McSorley - 11/3/2009

Question
hi joe

i just wanted to say thank you again for your answer to my question. i've just read it again (for about the 3rd time- it was so long!!) and i felt like your answer was the only one that really cut to the heart of my question, and it was the answer that spoke to me the most. it has helped me and i'm going to try and torture myself a little less about living a "worldly" life! i see no reason why the spiritual cannot be incorporated into the worldly. in fact, i think the two together create a genuine, authentic way of living (for me, at least), without hurting anyone (e.g. my family) by suddenly buggering off to a thai monastery or something and worrying the socks off them, and without denying myself and my own path (which i think is to stick around in society and live a rich - as in meaningful - life and help others).

best wishes to you. have a nice evening (or morning, or afternoon, depending on where you are in the world!)

katy

Answer
Hello Katy,
  You are quite welcome.  Just a caveat; don’t accept an answer just because it works with you, it must ring true regardless of how uncomfortable the answer might be.  Often choosing our path does end up hurting someone, or at least that is their perception.   You can waste an awful lot of time just trying not to hurt people when it’s their own view that is causing their pain.
 It is not a matter of incorporating the spirit into the worldly, there is no difference, so try to see that all truth/dharma/reality is here and now and not ‘other’.  Helping others is only truly effective when you know who you are.  The idea of helping others generally means helping them get what they think they need or you think they need for happiness but to truly help or transform others requires that you have the ability to get them to see their own true nature.  Feeding and clothing someone is good and noble and should be done but it does not change their suffering as a self.
 As far as buggering off to a monastery goes I will relate to you what Masao Abe said to me about lay people doing that.  It was his opinion that a layperson, who was truly driven to solve an existential crisis, could benefit greatly by spending a short time in a monastery.  Because they had to get back to daily life they tended to really commit themselves to the task at hand.  Both he and Dr DeMartino have told me that those who live in monasteries tend to get complacent because the troubles of the world and daily life no longer plague them to find a resolution.  As a friend of mine who made millions on a blues album once said to me, “ I no longer have anything to be blue about and that’s how I made my money. What do I do now?”  Funny, but true.   The layperson, having limited time and resources, must make the best of their time in a monastery.
   Good luck to you in your endeavors.  Where am I in the world?  Where is anyone in the world? Think about it.
.
  Take care,
     Joe

BTW, I reside outside of Philadelphia