Expert: Joe McSorley - 12/17/2009

Question
Hello - I just have a question about how it is exactly that we should perceive and act on our thoughts while we are meditating. Should we simply let our thoughts flow, and not try to stop them or interfere, while simply remaining detached and observing them? Or should we forcefully stop thoughts when they arise and return to the breath?

You see, when I try to deliberately stop my thoughts, I find that I tend to get headaches from doing it. It seems like I am very much focused when I do that, as I am entirely focused on the breath and doing my best to stop any arising thoughts, but I don't feel calm at all and often my mind and even body just feel tense from exerting my will on my mind (hence the headaches - I can even feel how stopping certain thoughts causes a little spike of pain in whichever part of my head I feel that thought was).

On the other hand, when I just observe the transient thoughts, I find it is much harder to focus. Since I'm not trying to stop the thoughts, I find it is much easier to get caught up in them. I can still get a good sitting of meditation in (it's not like I can't focus at all), but I can definitely tell that I am lost in my thoughts more often. However, my headaches in that case are almost non-existent, and I often feel more at ease, like my meditation goes 'smoother'.

Which method should we do? Should we try to find a balance? You see, it seems to me that stopping thoughts is somewhat counter-productive. Aren't we just letting the thoughts in through the back door in that case, making judgements about thoughts and labeling them as bad?

Thank you for your time,

Nicolaas

Answer
Yes Nicholaas, your idea of the back door thinking is correct, it is still thinking.  To observe thoughts is to think and to suppress thoughts is to think.  When I talk about sitting and observing I mean to do it without the thought of “ I am observing”, it is just observing without subject or object.  This whole idea of tacking thoughts creates its own set of problems but any way you deal with it, it is not easy.  There is this idyllic sense of Buddhism today that seems to ignore the intensity and struggle of the quest.  When you see depictions of Bodhidharma you don’t see some grinning monk but what you see is a man intensely focused.  It takes this type of effort to face yourself and overcome the dilemma.
  When thoughts arise ask, who thinks this, that’s all.  Every thought, seek its source with all your effort.  Chasing the thought is useless; it’s like seeing smoke and paying attention to smoke rather than finding the source of the fire.  Who thinks these thoughts?  This can’t be answered with thought so facing it will dissolve thought but not the effort.  This can be carried on in everyday life asking, who is thirsty, who is hungry or who is it that is tired or desires something.  They are all versions of ‘who am I’, who is it that was born and who dies.  Who was born, when did I come into being, all of these questions make you face yourself.
  If you can latch onto this it will slowly take root in you and become effortless.  Practice without anticipation, let it take its course and it will become you.  Stop worrying about the smoke.
 Take care,
         Joe