Expert: Stuart Resnick - 3/16/2009

Question
QUESTION: Please could you give your view with reasons on what Buddhists beliefs might be for understanding yourself and others

ANSWER: This is similar to pondering the question, "How many fingers does a human being have on each hand?" You could seek an answer from numerous experts, or you could Google the question and perhaps Wikipedia will give you information that's possibly correct. But it's more efficient just to take a look at your own hands.

The Great Question is "What am I?" It's not like learning electrical engineering; for that you'd have to consult an Authority. When it comes to examining your true self, no one is a greater expert than you are.

So take up the great question and examine what this "I" is. If you come up with any answer, any idea about your true self, that's just thinking, so don't cling to it. If you question strongly and sincerely, one thing will appear clearly: Don't Know. This "Don't Know" is better than a belief or understanding, better than Buddha, better than God, better than anything.

Re understanding others... to be meticulous... your job is to examine your RELATIONSHIP with others. Whoever you happen to be with, question for yourself what this relationship is. If you don't understand, just try. Then the important part is to USE this relationship to help the other being. Again, you don't know HOW you can help others, you can only try. This effort, this intention, will provide you with a direction in life.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: So once you have understood yourself and found where you want to be in this case the monk decides to become ordained, he then uses this new found mindset and position in society to create relationship with others. How can a Buddhist use this relationship with the Laity (community) to help them but without breaking the Eightfold Path, one example being, "right speech" because they are not allowed to say thank you when given a gift because it may influence the community's member in what they give the next day?

Answer
All Buddhists teachings are like signposts pointing to Truth. It's not so good to cling to any teaching, but rather, use them as encouragement to find your own way. Or you can think of the teachings like medicine. If you have some sort of thinking that's causing you suffering, maybe in the medicine cabinet of Buddhist teaching you can find some idea that will help remove it. But if you're not thinking, then you have no need for such medicine.

Therefore, whatever the rules are, you must first accept the rules, and then learn when to keep them, and when to break them.

In the example of the monk... it may be true that in some particular cultures there's a rule or custom against the monk saying, "Thank you." But if you're that monk, you should try to help all beings, moment-to-moment, to the best of your ability, using WHATEVER tools you have at your disposal. Acting out of your own live experience may be better than following dead rules. This may mean using good speech, but sometimes you can help others by using bad speech, or by breaking rules, etc. Just ask, "How can I help?" and don't hold anything else.