Expert: Buddhis8 - BuddhismIS.com - 4/29/2009

Question
QUESTION: I suppose that this would be more of a personal question...

It is a problem I have come to recently. I have been practicing Buddhism for several months now, and something has suddenly 'stopped' me, so to say.

The problem is, quite simply, that as I become less desire-oriented, as I feel my self/personal identity receding, and as I begin to see the emptiness of things around me... well, it so happens that I begin to feel rather empty myself.

This only occurs maybe once or twice a week for a portion of the day, but I suddenly feel very purposeless, and, as such, rather depressed. I simply feel... meaningless, purposeless, empty, and while I think this is supposed to make one free, as it does some of the time, for me it simply makes me feel hopeless, or, to put it simply 'empty'. Everything seems depressing, hollow...

Is this normal? What do you think I should do?

ANSWER: Dear Nicolaas,

Have you considered that this is the feeling of being free? if it was really totally empty and hollow, then you wouldn't interpret it as either good nor bad, or indifferent.

I think that your feelings of "hollowness" are an important stage, and a sign of progress in your practice, but i think it best to avoid judging that state in terms of what you previously knew, or expected.

Here is some advice from someone I know who has experienced almost exactly the same thing:

"this happened to me (maybe you'll read something useful):

I encountered something similar some time ago. I was feeling empty, hollow, or sometimes I felt so much chaos that I would feel empty (hard to describe). There was no specific reason for this feeling which I had 2 or 3 times a week. I didn't understand. I wanted this annoying feeling to go away (It didn't go away). I tried to find a reason why I was feeling this way. I tried to find the reason for these feelings which resulted in having the feeling all day. I wanted it to go away which resulted in having the feeling all day.

Thinking about these things would help me:
Everything is constantly changing. This includes your mood and emotions. Buddhism isn't some cure which will make you happy all the time. It's normal that some days are better then other days and some days are worse then other days. Sometimes you just feel bad for no specific reason. Accept it and know that this feeling will also change. You will feel good again. Know that this bad feeling will end. Don't try to change it because it will change by itself. The sooner you will realize this, the sooner the bad feeling will go away."

My advice to you would be to observe the feeling of emptiness, hollowness. Investigate and observe it from a non discerning mind - thinking this is neither good nor bad. After doing this for a while you may get some insight into its true nature and start to feel more comfortable with its presence - this may be a very subtle change.

I hope this helps Nicolaas
Yours in Dhamma
Shozen, Metta
Reference: http://www.knowbuddhism.info/2009/03/in-emptiness-of-self.html

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you very much. This actually helped quite a bit.

I just have one question... it seems to me that the cause of me feeling this is that I still label thigns as to my personal opinion. As you said, i labeled my feeling of emptiness as a bad thing...

And you also mentioned that one must neither good or bad or indifferent.

How can one do this? I can see how one might label somethign as neither good nor bad, but how can one not even label something as indifferent? Is being indifferent of something not the same as not labeling it at all?

And is there perchance some form of meditation or mental exercise by which one can stop labeling things as such? I find that my emotional reaction to things is often very strong - might there be some way to calm down the emotions, and not cling to them as much (and by doing so not labeling objects, situations, or people as to how you feel about them)?

Thank you,

Nicolaas

Answer
Greetings Nicolaas,

It warms my heart that you are so intent on the Buddhist path
and willing to investigate the depths of reality so fearlessly.
Just remember that all 'concepts' of emptiness are NOT IT.

My suggestion is that you meditate more on metta (loving kindess) for now,it is like a cure-all for whatever ails us.

Go well,
Shozen, Metta
for more information on metta practise please follow this link: http://www.buddhanet.net/metta.htm

p.s please excuse the delay in my reply!