Expert: Laurie McLauglin - 5/12/2009

Question


Hi there, I hope you are well.

Question: Imagine two people who are both identical in terms of qualities such as compassion, kindness and overall moral goodness. However, one of these people are conventionally "ugly" (physically) and is reminded of this, day to day, by society's predominant standards of "beauty". They feel discriminated against and therefore painfully sad.

So I ask, which of these people have been given the worse-off rebirth?

The one who is not "ugly", but who follows the culturally deep-seated values of good looks which are often discriminatory, prejudiced and harmful? Or the "ugly" one who is constantly devalued and made inferior solely for their appearance?

Has karma led to these different social standings?
If so, does this mean karma punishes people by using human constructs like "ugliness", which is deplorable and perhaps evil in itself?

I understand this may be a difficult question but any feedback would be great!

In all benevolence,

Jordan


Answer
Thank you for letting me answer your question, Jordan.  It is  a good one.

If you ask ten Buddhist practitioners, I suspect you will get ten different answers based on the karma of the one answering. My answer is sort of in stream of consciousness style and will give you several answers to the same question –

From my side, from what I have learned thus far studying Tibetan Mahayana Buddhism, the answer to your question is yes – karma has led to the different social standings of each person. Karma has also determined whether a person will be born beautiful or ugly.  From my understanding, karma also determines how each individual deals with the situation in which they find themselves.

For example, just because someone is born ugly and is treated poorly because of it does not mean that that person will feel bad about themselves or about the world who is passing such judgement. Similarly,  a person born beautiful with all the benefits can feel quite inferior or negative about themselves despite their outward pleasant appearance and seemingly good fortune.

I would answer the person who fares worse emotionally has been given the worse rebirth.

I would say that someone who has kindness, compassion and goodness and is ugly is paying back the karma of some misdeed by being born ugly.  However, if they possess kindness, compassion and goodness, in any moderate way, they should, instead of feeling sad about themselves and their situation, would instead feel compassion for those who judge them by their appearance.

If someone is ugly but also has compassion, kindness and goodness and still feels sad about themselves for the abuse they are receiving from their fellow man,  could be that they also carry the imprints of past lives that makes them more predisposed to being attached to how the view of others can cause pain to ones own ego, instead of the imprint to have the wisdom to see that what other people feel about them has no real importance in who they really are.

Karma determines things like looks and the situation one finds ones self in.  However, the imprints of past lives also determine how you deal with the situations you find yourself in.  

Again, not all ugly people feel negative about the way they look.  If one feels punished because one is ugly, and are sad about it and feel sad because people treat them badly, that is simply the choice they are making in that moment probably due to the imprints of feeling that way in previous lives and they are  probably simply repeating the most common action in that person’s choices of what to do in that situation based on what they did in previous incarnations.

Just like a dirt road that has been driven on often, the ruts in the road are deep and the tires that go down that road will tend to fall in the ruts that have been made by many tires. If we are often angry, or have low self esteem in a given situation, for example, it means that we are doing things that we have done before many times.

From my side, this is why not all people in the same situation act the same way.  An example from my life.  My father was verbally abusive and I developed low self esteem and felt sorry for myself during my growing up years.  I had a friend who also had a verbally abusive father.  She was not harmed emotionally – she was able to rise above it, stay positive and get on with her life a lot faster than I did.

As to which rebirth is worse, I would have to say the one that causes the most harm to self and others is the worst rebirth.
 
Does karma punish?  Karma is simply the law of cause and effect. If one is “punished” to use your word, it is only because one did something negative to cause oneself to have to bear the fruit of their own action. And  one feels unhappy because one sees oneself as having something unfair done to them as opposed to realizing that the results of the actions they previously did are simply manifesting, so they   are not required react with their ego by feeling they are being punished. Instead, they can simply acknowledge it, be grateful to the ones belittling them and move on.

At any moment, a person can choose to realize that they do not have to feel sad about the situation they are in and learn to let go of their ego-grasping negativity and begin to embrace a more positive approach to life.

According to Buddhist teachings, both of them are suffering equally in their respected rebirths. Each are suffering from their deluded mind.  The ugly one is suffering because they believe that they are truly ugly when in reality, ugly is a mere label that cannot in itself cause suffering.  The pretty or handsome one also is suffering from a deluded mind because he believes that living in a culture where one does harmful or prejudice things to others even if it is socially acceptable is all right.

Both of them are suffering equally from their delusions and looking outside of themselves for their source of happiness or completion or well being.

I hope there is something in what I wrote that helps you.  Please don’t hesitate to ask any further questions or ask for clarification.