Expert: Joe McSorley - 5/28/2009

Question
what is the best first meditation, bearing in mind that i am a beginner? how does one begin true meditation and not simply use it as a tool of relaxation?

Answer
Dear Bob,
  First let me make it perfectly clear that I am not a Roshi and not qualified to teach meditation.  I will tell you what I was taught in the beginning and you can glean from that what you may.  As far as ‘true meditation’ goes all systems think that their style is true meditation whether it be transcendental meditation or qigong meditation.  I differentiate zazen from other forms of meditation by its intent and goal.  It should be the aim of all Zen practice to stop the reflective process of the brain, to impact it and to bring about a radical and thoroughgoing transformation of the self.  It doesn’t matter if you achieve this through meditation, sanzen, mindfulness or koan practice; they are all trying to do the exact same thing.  The thing is that it should not be a practice but become your whole existence.  You should not be able to walk away from the ‘meditation hall’.
  Only you can judge why you are doing the practice, be it for health or whatever, so it is what you bring to it.  Years ago I was in a Zen monastery with Masao Abe Sensei and he simply said to the head priest, “Why do you meditate” and they had no answer for him.  Another time someone answered ‘to reach awakening’ and Abe replied ‘why does meditation bring about awakening?”  and again no answer.  What this means to me is that the person didn’t grasp the dynamics of what they were trying to do, they were doing what they were trained to do without a profound understanding of it.  It’s like doing an exercise with intent in mind or not.  You can swim for leisure or you can swim for the Olympics; it’s going to change your focus and results.
   This brings me to; why do you want to meditate?  The root of this is most important.
  In the beginning I was taught to sit quietly, full or half lotus, back erect, eyes three quarters closed, thumbs interlocked on each hand, breathing deeply to the tan tien/hara (about 3 inches below the navel) and to count each breath.  I was taught this different ways by different teachers, count just ‘one’ over and over, count to ten and start over, or to fix my mind/thought on ‘mu’ (means –no, nothing, negation).  Start it at twenty minutes in the morning and twenty in the evening.  What you bring to it is what you get out of it.  You may feel physical and psychological changes but you have to let them go.  Anything that happens to ‘you’ happens from the standpoint of the ego and is thus problematic.
 Again, I am not a Roshi, so if there is a zendo you can go to for proper instruction you should do it.  As in music, all technique is practiced to be free from technique, practice without anticipation.
 Good luck to you.
           Joe