AboutAlex Wilding Expertise I have practiced and studied Tibetan Buddhism in the Kagyu and Nyingma traditions since the early 1970s, and have a good knowledge of theory, history and of the struggles of trying to practice the teachings, including meditation, while leading a normal, modern life.
I am also available to provide background information for journalists.
Experience I have been a practitioner since the early 1970s; have run a small Buddhist centre in the English Midlands and was vice-president of Kagyu Benchen Ling e.V. in Germany, for whom I managed three large Buddhist summer-camps. More importantly, I maintain a habit of personal practice.
I am the "owner" of the Kagyu list at Yahoo.
Education/Credentials My first degree was an M.A. from Oxford. I later obtained a Master of Philosophy degree for a research thesis in "Initiation in Tibetan Buddhism" from Leicester University. I also have engineering and educational qualifications.
Question Good morning, I feel kind of weird about asking this..but here it goes. I'm not sure how to word it. I started meditating on and off, when I have time, and what I discovered is amazing. I learned that I can clear my mind and try to find peace with my eyes closed all day and nothing will happen. -But- I have discovered this sort of "switch" in my head I can turn on that will start to make my hands numb, then my legs, and eventually make its way to my face. During this time my mind is clear and I feel an amazing amount of love and happiness from nowhere. The only problem is when I turn it back off I'm left sort of disorientated and my mind has to come back down. I can turn this "switch" on at any time and hold it for a quite a while. I call it a "switch" because I actively turn it on just like one would move a finger. Anyways, I'm looking for a little guidance on this not sure what I'm actually doing or turning on. Also after I'm done my vision seems a little off and I'll sometimes see white dots flash around. Maybe I'm just giving myself mini seizures or something. Not sure
Thank you for your time!
Answer Hi Adam,
The exact version of your experience is not one that I've heard of before. That being said, however, the teachings recognize that meditation experiences have an enormous and unpredictable range. Again and again it is taught that these things are, in a way, signs that at least *something* is happening, but that they are not in themselves all that crucial. Some people get a lot, some only a few, sometimes they last a longish time, sometimes only a short time. We are always taught to acknowledge them but not cling to them. If our meditation is providing some clarity, some calmness and some happiness, that is enough for it to be a base - a "working platform" you might say - for the real thing, which is recognizing the true nature of our mind.
Of course I don't know you, and I'm not a real meditation master, so I can only tell you the usual answer: that's encouraging, but don't overdo it and don't worry about it. Just keep going, and work, as we all must, on developing compassion and wisdom.
I hope that helps a bit.
