Expert: Justin Choo - 7/17/2009

Question
Hello Justin Choo,

First before my question I want to give you a little back ground about me, and the question.

I am by all accounts new to Buddhism and have been studying it for a short time now. Previously I have studied Christianity which I enjoyed very much however I found certain aspects just not for me.

A few days ago while talking to a close friend of my Buddhist learning she asked a question that I simply had no answer to. She asked, "In Buddhism when you die and go to heaven are you reunited with your family?" I explained to her the temporary nature of the afterlife in Buddhism and that since you will be reborn into different families I don't -think- that you would be reunited with family in your afterlife. However, as I also explained to her, I do not know. After searching for the past 2 days I'm still pondering the same question.

So I come with the same question I was asked. What happens in regards to you and your family in the afterlife? Is family solely an attribute of the material world?



Thank you for taking your time with my question.


Chris

Answer
Hi Chris,

When a child comes to you and ask , "Where is Santa Claus?", how would you answer?  In the adult world, your answer is irrelevent, for we know Santa does not exist; or does he??  Whichever way you answer, it does not reflect on your level of intelligence.  It is due to the ignorance of this child, the product of constant deception from the adult world that he asks this silly question.  As far as he is concerned, he demands an answer. He will not accept "Santa is just a fairy-tale story; Santa does not exist."  So what do you do? You may have to invent an answer to further deceive the poor child, that Santa lives far far away somewhere in the North Pole, or something like that.

Your friend who asked you the question is just like this ignorant/innocent child.  She has been indoctrinated that when a person dies, he must either go to hell or to heaven, and so on.  She is like the poor child, who has to live through this deception until she grows up to know the truth.  So like the child, how are you going to answer her?  Very difficult, if not impossible at all!  Until and unless she comes to realize that her belief may not be correct, you might just have to answer that "Santa lives far far away somewhere in the North Pole".

Coming back to the "correct" answer.  The honest answer is "I don't know."  Don't you agree that this is the honest answer?  If anyone can give you another answer, just ask him/her to show prove of the answer.

Many things in life cannot be proven, but that does not mean that they do not exist.  Many things in life that man thinks he believe to be true, but in actual fact may not be true.

In Buddhist parlance, when  this life ends, another life begins.  Where and what, nobody knows; but most certainly you won't be "united" with your deceased relatives in heaven"!

Hope this "answers" your question.

Take care.

Justin Choo

[I like to invite you to visit my blog:]
http://lifeislikethat999.blogspot.com/

[And these sites by Rev. Dhammika:]
http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/
http://www.buddhismatoz.com/