AboutStuart Resnick Expertise I'm a long-time practitioner in a Korean-style Zen school. I can answer questions regarding Zen, formal sitting meditation, self-inquiry, the practice of "koan" transmission, and offer the particular perspective of this school on the great life questions.
Experience 18 years of formal practice with the Kwan Um School of Zen, currently with the Empty Gate Zen Center of Berkeley, currently a "Senior Dharma Teacher" at this center, I give periodic talks and informally answer questions of students interested in Zen practice and teaching style
Question Hello, I just have a question about my meditation practice. You see, I have been meditating for about 8 months. Last week, however, complications did not allow me to meditate for quite a while - almost a week, about six days. I really felt the difference (I was actually quite shocked by how fuzzy my mind felt. I woke up in the morning and I actually could not stop thinking. I tried but I could not control my thoughts. I also experienced low moods, and I was angry for quite a bit, which is unusual as I rarely am angered by anything), but the problem is that, now that I have begun to meditate once more, I feel like I have started all over again. Does this mean that I am back at square one? I ask both for advice - will I get back 'up to speed' relatively easily, and also for future reference (ie, should I make sure not to let these long gaps of meditation-less time come up).
Thank you for your time,
Nicolaas
Answer You're ALWAYS at square one. Whether you've been practicing meditation for decades or just began today, it doesn't make any difference in the practice. The practice is to awake to this very moment. Whatever you did or didn't do in the past... put it all down, and return to this moment. Just now, what do you see, what do you hear, what are you doing? That's all.
During your meditation, all sorts of thoughts will appear and disappear. Quite likely, one of these thoughts will be, "I want to get something!" Don't hold or cultivate any of these thoughts, let them appear and disappear like clouds in the sky. If you want something, you have a problem.
Also, don't confuse "meditation" with a particular posture, like sitting with eyes closed. At any moment, any situation, whatever you're doing, just do it. Truth is always present, right in front of you, in whatever you perceive and whatever you do. If you have time to do formal sitting meditation, that's wonderful, but if not, just do action meditation, keeping a clear mind in the midst of any activity.
