Expert: Justin Choo - 2/18/2010

Question
Dear Justin, this worry is always troubling me and I hope to hear your viewpoint. I'm a mother of 2 mentally-challenged teenagers who needs care throughout their lives. I'm holding a good paying job (mostly used up for monthly expenses) and my husband is also earning reasonable well (but he's about retirement age with all the old age aches and pains acting up). The kids are looked after by my aging parents in the 70s. If anything happens to any of my parent, I'd have no choice but to stop working in order to care for the kids. Now this is my deep worry : will we be able to cope financially after the big income reduction (my salary) and can we sustain the future, the retirement? Pls advise what kind of mind set should I have to allow myself peace of mind and the right direction to go through this life? Thanks, Justin.
Regards,
Jean

Answer
Hi Jean,

I do understand your worry.  I am retired without any pension or active income.  And I have to take care of my 5-year old granddaughter as well as finance her expenses.  You are certainly an extraordinary person.  I suppose you can enquire at the social welfare department to find out whether you can get any financial aid from them.  Irrespective of how much you earn or may have saved, if you are entitled to government aid, then you should register your rights.  

Your parents are also extraordinary.  They should be taking life easy instead of having to take care of 2 mentally-challenged grandchildren.  My greatest respect for them.  

I can offer the stereo-typed Buddhists "advice" that a lot of life's experience is due to kamma, but I think this is not going to help you in anyway.  What I can say is "life is like that."  Some are healthy and happy.  Some are wealthy but sick.  And many other combinations in life.  Mine is one combination; and yours another.  We just got to persevere and do our best.  As for me, I just accept my life as it is, and live one day at a time.  There is worry, no doubt.  But we must not let the worry overwhelm us.  

You need to save as much as you can; and I hope by the end the day you have sufficient fund to tide things over; especially with both your husband's and  your EPF savings.  If you can be comfortable with your financial position, then I am sure you will have less worry.  So you need to seriously look into your fiancial position. You need to have a firm financial plan.  I think all else will come to place if you are comfortable with your financial position.

I hope this helps.

Take care, Jean.

Justin Choo