Expert: Laurie McLauglin - 2/21/2010

Question
I have two questions, One - How do we reach Nirvana in our lifetime.
Two - Will our family and friends be there. Also I took your advice I am now a Vegetarian.

Sincerely

Zack.

Answer
Hello again Zack,

Thank you for letting me answer your questions again and glad you have become a vegetarian.

To answer your second question first, Nirvana is not a place like heaven so when you reach Nirvana, there will not be people from your past waiting for you.

Nirvana is a state of being that one reaches by following and applying the teachings of the Buddha where your mind feels complete peace, clarity and joy; where there is no more suffering.

Some say it is already part of nature and we just need to uncover the things that keep us from it.

To achieve it in this lifetime, one needs to study and practice Buddha's teachings; particularly the ones on identifying that what keeps us from nirvana is our ignorance. Buddha taught that we suffer because we see the world incorrectly. We are ignorant of the way the world really works.

For example, we grasp at things as truly existent; that the world exists exactly as we perceive it. Buddha figured that if we saw and understood the world correctly to begin with we would not suffer (at least so much) as we do. But instead we do things like grasp at things as though they are going to last forever and never change; such as relationships and our possessions and when the break or change, we suffer.

And we grasp at an inherently existing self. And when we get hurt, we suffer.  Buddha taught that instead of one truth there are two; conventional and ultimate. Briefly this means that conventional self is the fact that we exist - that I am typing this and you are reading this. And the ultimate truth that the you who is reading and the me who is typing ultimately are simply a collection of parts merely labled Zach and Laurie.

He taught that when you go to look for your inherently existing self, you cannot find it. But we grasp onto one like there is one and suffer when we feel that self is hurt or threatened.

We can also use the example of a flower. Take a daisy. Now pluck the petals off, the the leaves now the stem.  Look at the pieces, where did the flower go?

So, what Buddha taught was not that we don't exist or the daisy for that matter, but what does not exist, what never existed and what will never exist is the falsely imagined, apparently separate and concrete self that you've always believed in so strongly.

Reaching Nirvana in this lifetime can happen when we think, study, meditate, ponder and practice enough to realize this truth completely.

As long as you continue to believe in an inherently existent self, you stay trapped in the prison of samsara, or cyclic rebirth and will never reach Nirvana.

Buddha also taught us about the twelve links that keeps us circling in Samsara.  Once we break the links this will help us achieve Nirvana.  The twelve links show us how everything we do leads us toward taking another rebirth and away from Nirvana. When we really understand and study how the wheel works, which includes understanding cause and effect and karma, and the three poisons of hatred, attachment and ignorance, then one creates an understanding of how to break free of it. So that is another thing that through study, meditation and wisdom one can use to achieve Nirvana in this life.

Until we can eliminate hatred, attachment and ignorance from our lives, we cannot (as far as I know) enter Nirvana.  To understand how to get rid of these, one must undertake the study of the Buddha's teachings.

One must also develop moral discipline, concentration and wisdom, call the three trainings to help us on the path.  Moral discipline will keep us from creating negative karma and getting lost on the path, concentration means learning how to meditate.  We must develop our minds in meditation to recognize our thoughts and then to understand the true nature of our mind and then be able to use our mind to attain insights that will help us escape the confusion and suffering we now feel and experience.  Then we need to develop wisdom to be able to experience the true nature of reality which is emptiness. Once we have a direct (non conceptual) experience of emptiness (the true nature of things) then we will truly be free of suffering and achieve Nirvana.

I am certain there are a million other ways to answer your question, but this is the best one I can give you based on where I am in my practice of the Mahayana Gelugpa Buddhist path I am travelling.

If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Namaste - Laurie