Expert: Justin Choo - 5/13/2010

Question
Hello Justin

What would be the definition of a healthy self-esteem according to Buddhist Teaching?

Answer
Hi Bob,

This is quite an interesting question, and also a difficult one to answer. But I shall try my best which will be just my personal opinion in the Buddhist perspective.  I looked up the dictionary meaning of "self esteem" and it said:
–noun
1.a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
2.an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.


Let me take the first definition as the more appropriate one for this discussion. If we are talking about self-improvement or personal motivation techniques, then we can mention all the positive terms in our vocabulary.  We actually need all these mental positive attitudes to build up our self esteem.  

Your additional adjective "healthy" makes it more discernable.  You see, over zealous self-esteem may be unhealthy, just like a fanatic. In the Buddhist perspective perhaps we need to consider deeper into life.  I shall put them in point form:

* Knowing oneself in relation to the wider world.
* Knowing we are the product of what we were.
* Knowing we have reasonable control over our lives, without depending on any "higher" power.
* Knowing pursuing the extreme is futile.
* Knowing the world owes us nothing, and it is up to us to strive for excellence within reasonable limits.
* Knowing nothing is permanent; everything changes.
* Knowing to be careful during good times; and persevere during bad times.
* Knowing the true nature of existence.
* Knowing happiness comes from contentment.
* Knowing living a contented, noble and peaceful life, will have less problem.

I think the above is enough for a healthy self-esteemed life.

And of course : "Don't worry, be happy"   (LOL : Hahahaha!!!)  

Take care.

Justin Choo