Expert: Justin Choo - 7/3/2010

Question
First, let me thank you for taking the time to help many others on this site, and hopefully me if i am as fortunate enough. You are doing a very kind act and it is appreciated.

My question I believe is quite a simple one. How do you deal with the daily day to day negative thoughts, actions, and views. It seems as of lately I am un-able to control negative thoughts, anger, and frustration. I am able to hold them within and not "act" out loud, but inside my mind it feels as if I am overshadowed by a powerful negative energy that I am unable to shake loose.

Answer
Hi Michael,

Thank you for your commendation.  It's always a happy feeling that one's effort is appreciated.

Now to your question.  You are not alone in this situation.  Infact most of us, including me, experience the nagging confrontation of negative thoughts, thoughts of anger and frustration.  It is a very natural human encounter.  However, some are by nature very good-natured and are able to live through life with an equanimous attitude.  But for those unable to do so, they suffer mental anguish detrimental to their health, by letting negative and hateful thoughts overpowering their lives.  

There is no easy method to overcome this problem.  I too find it very difficult.  So it is an on-going battle trying to diffuse this recurring problem. To me there are two fronts that we need to look into.  The first is to know WHY we should not allow negative and hateful thoughts to control our lives.  We need to realise that negative and hateful thoughts are poisons to our mind.  If we allow them to take the front stage, then we are opening ourselves to greater problems.  Problems of feeling unhappy, frustration, hateful, resentment, and self-pity.  If we allow this to continue, it will ultimately affect our health and open the door for sickness to come in.  Our natural defence system will be at the weakest, only concentrating on the debilitating negative and hateful thoughts.  Realising this danger lurking around us, we must have the common sense and the will to take positive steps to alleviate impending problems.  

The second and subsequent approach is to know HOW to resolve the problem.  The technique is to consciously or mindfully note the negative or hateful thought each time it comes.  Once you mindfully note that thought, after awhile it automatically subsides and fade away.  Then it will return to haunt us again, and again we mindfully note.  And the cycle repeats ad infinitum.  This is the nature of thoughts and human feelings.  By constantly practising this mindfulness of "noting" it will eventually leads to "nothing!"   "Nothing," meaning, we are now able to "tell" the unwanted thoughts to just go away because we "don't welcome you anymore."  

So you see, there is no "quick fix" method.  It is very gradual and most probably a life-time battle.  But at least we try.

Hope this helps.

Take care.

Justin Choo