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Expert: - 7/13/2010


Question
I am a very giving person. I help people to the point that I do without things needed to live. Even though I do all these things I still can't find happiness. All I am looking for are the simple things, the most important thing is to find someone who loves me for me. I can't seem to find this. I have been looking and everytime I think I get close something happens and it doesn't work out. How can I find peace within myself so that I can be happy? Do you think I am destain to be alone while I grow old?

Answer
Hi Misti,

I would be more comfortable to comment if you had provided more information about yourself, like age, gender, location, race, and so on.

As it is, I shall just make a few general comments.  Looks like your idea of happiness is to "find someone who loves me."  Helping people doesn't mean that you can achieve this aspiration.  

<<" How can I find peace within myself so that I can be happy?">>
"Finding peace" and  "be happy" are quite different states of mind.  "Happiness" depends on factors usually external which you have no control.  This means if the happy condition is not there, you will  not be happy.

"Peace" within oneself does not depend on external factors.  Even without happy conditions, a person can still experience peace within oneself, by understanding the true nature of existence.

Hope this helps.

Take care.

Justin Choo

Buddhists

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Justin Choo

Expertise

When in doubt seek it out. All your questions will be answered, and you may not have to agree with the answers. Such is the beauty of Buddhism. You are free to decide. I follow the Theravada tradition, and have been studying Buddhism for more than 40 years. Please view my profile for more details. I have answered more than 1500 questions since joining this category. You may like to give me the honor to answer your question.

Experience

I was brought up in the 50's as a Buddhist. For the past 40 years I have read numerous books on Buddhism and listened to numerous talks on Buddhism by well-respected and learned monks and lay teachers. I conduct Buddhist classes for parents of Sunday School children in a Theravada Buddhist Temple. My teacher was the late Chief Reverend, The Ven. K Sri Dhammananda of The Brickfields Buddhist Mahavihara, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. You can view the relevent website in memory of my revered late teacher @ http://www.ksridhammananda.com

Organizations
I am a life member of the Buddhist Missionary Society Malaysia.

Publications
YOU ARE INVITED TO VISIT MY BLOG @ http://lifeislikethat999.blogspot.com/ Published a book called "The Rainbow And The Treasure". It is a compilation of extracts from various sources to introduce Buddhism to beginners. (Currently out of print)

Education/Credentials
Bachelor of Commerce And Administration, Victoria University Of Wellington, NZ.(1974)

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