Expert: Judy - 8/6/2010

Question
I have been examining my life and have come to realize that what I do, what I feel, and what I desire are all driven by greed and selfishness. I feel like this idea can be transferred to most all human nature. It is making me doubt the goodness of man kind as well as myself, I'm just looking for some guidance.

Answer
Hi, Ryan,

I am glad that you are aware well to recognize your greed and selfishness.  To tell you the truth, you are just being natural.  Greed and selfishness are part of “human nature.”  The reason why human beings are reborn again and again is because we have the traits of greed, anger, and ignorance.  All these 3 poisons are derived from the EGO.  Thus, selfishness is natural.

A lot of Buddhists tell themselves or one another to be selfish-less and compassionate.  Well, easy say than done!  We cannot do it because it’s not our nature to be selfish-less.  Many Buddhists even tell themselves that it’s shameful to be selfish.  Since they are Buddhists, it’s not their mission not to be compassionate towards others.  A perfect Buddhist has to be selfish-less and compassionate.
Wow…. What an egocentric mind that is talking and manipulating!  How can a person be perfect if he is born imperfect!  How can a person be compassionate towards others while he does not admit that he is selfish?  When a person tries to be perfect, compassionate, and selfish-less, he is already deceived by his own MIND WITHOUT understanding the human race and how the race is all about.  He, as a result, can never gain compassion towards others.  Unselfishness and compassion cannot be learned, but they have to come from within.

Unless we UNDERSTAND our OWN problems, our OWN selfishness, our OWN EGO, and our OWN greed, we will never have the compassion for others.
For instance, when we see a person being selfish or doing some kind of selfish thing, we get angry.  Why?  It’s because we don’t understand ourselves.  We don’t admit or see ourselves being selfish all the time, but we only see others being selfish.  If I understand and admit that “I” am selfish all the time, a lot of times, or sometimes, I would not be angry at any person who is being selfish, wouldn’t I?  I am in the same boat as he is.  He is in the same boat as she is.  In general, we ARE all the same, no exceptions.  If we understand our own problems, our own greed, and our own selfishness, our compassion towards others is then naturally born.  Compassion and unselfishness, again, have to come naturally when we UNDERSTAND OURSELVES first!  Otherwise, it does not matter how many times we tell ourselves to be selfish-less, we just cannot be selfish-less.

Also, a lot of people’s concept of unselfishness is twisted too.  Through history, we have had a lot of heroes and heroines.  No offense to the heroes and heroines, and I do respect them.  However, if we need to investigate our human minds and the root of our suffering and problems, I have to be honestly loud and clear here.  OK, the heroes and heroines died for their own countries; they used their own lives to protect their countries.  They are the bravest and the most unselfish people in the world.  Woo…. What’s wrong with this picture?  How do you define unselfishness?  Think about this…  A person is brave enough to die for his country just to protect the country!!!  Isn’t that the biggest EGO…? Because his heroic act, the entire country is protected and saved.  His name is in the history for good forever.  Most importantly, he is dividing the world and the entire human race into sections and only protecting HIS OWN COUNTRY.

Also, look at this…  When the person Z comments on person Y for being KIND, what’s in this person Z’s mind?  Where is the comment coming from?  Oh… because person Y just said something that person Z wanted to hear, person Y just helped person Z something, or person Y just did something that person Z liked.  The definition of this kindness of person Y obviously comes from person Z’s ego.  He is judging people based on his own needs.  Aren’t we like that all the time?  However, we never see all the sides or every side of a person.  A person may be a good, friendly friend who is always up for hanging out and having fun together, yet he may not be a responsible or sweet parent to his own child.  Everything and everyone has so many facets.  Nothing is made of one single matter or condition.  All the matters, conditions, consequences are all the combinations of everything based on time and space.  No one is absolutely kind or absolutely bad.  In fact, you can never comment on anybody for anything he does or act, because we only see one little part of the many faceted facts.

Unless we investigate or probe ourselves, we can never understand why others do what they do.  Our compassion or unselfishness would never become reality without admitting our own problem or our true human nature.  

Luckily, all human beings have the Buddha nature as well.  We can reduce our problems and human nature to the minimum through cultivating our seeds.  The beauty of the Buddha nature is that our AWARENESS is just the KNOWING, without judgment of good or bad.  There is no good or bad in our awareness, but we just use it to KNOW all our own bodies, speeches, and minds.  All the understanding of ourselves has to be born naturally through awareness practices.  Be mindful on every move your body is in and every thought your mind has.  Don’t judge yourself.  When a thought rises, just know that it’s there.  It will be gone when your mind is not jumping it to criticize it, making a story out of it, or fabricating it.

Ryan, just be a human being; don’t try to be a Buddhist.  When you have a certain expectation from yourself being a Buddhist, you are already noblizing and fooling yourself, where you are above the non-Buddhist believers/practionners.  That’s where the problem is.