Expert: Joe McSorley - 8/6/2010

Question
Hello again! I was wondering, how important is it (in zen) to have a teacher? You see, I´ve been thinking that I should probably take a koan (what you said in the past about questioning "who am I" has caught up to me somewhat. It´s really becoming clear how just meditating for it´s own sake somewhat misses the point), but there aren´t any teachers anywhere near where I live.

Is having a teacher necesary for taking up a koan? I know it seems rather obvious, but is it possible simply to question the self... "free-style", for lack of a better term?

Thanks for your time (again),

Nicolaas

Answer
Hello Nicolaas,
   Strictly speaking, no, you do not need a teacher but it is a rare individual that can do it all on their own though ultimately you are your own teacher, only you can do the deep self-inquiry that is needed for the task.  The problem is that we can easily fool ourselves into thinking we have gained something or understand something when we have not.  There are many illusions on the way.  Decades ago in my search I had come to the incorrect conclusion that ‘correct thinking’ was no thinking.  After a couple of years of arduous practice at this I took a trip to see my teacher.  He asked me what I had been doing and I replied strongly, “Not thinking!”  He roared back at me, “Not thinking is your thinking!” It was like a sword split me open.  There are many ways to delude yourself on the path.
   Historically speaking there are many people who did do this without a teacher.  Their self-inquiry or koan arose naturally and took a great hold upon them.  It was their own self-determination that drove them to a resolution.  It is important that the koan not be artificial and by that I mean that it is not something that you can pick up and later discard; it must grab you by the heels.  One of my favorite comments on the path to self-inquiry is this: you cannot be that which you perceive.  Think about that.  If you perceive something you stand outside of it yet it is the only way we know anything.  If you perceive yourself it is not yourself, thus the line, if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.  If you perceive yourself it is not you but since you only know by the process of perception there is a dilemma.  Some people answer this by saying you ‘feel’ yourself, well that too, is a dichotomy between that which is felt/perceived and that which perceives.  So you cannot be that which you perceive and everything you perceive is not you, then what?  Another way of putting this is the self is not found inside or outside; where do you look?
  I would suggest reading the old masters and see if anything strikes you.  In the Indian tradition I particularly like Ramana Mahreshi and Nisargattada though you have to get used to the Indian paradigm.
         Good luck to you.
                      Joe