Expert: Stuart Resnick - 9/1/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi, just a quick question about satori/kensho. Once one has had some sort of
enlightenment experience, is it possible to *go back* as it were? Does it
happen that the person forgets whatever it is they realize during the
experience? Is it just another passing phenomena? Once you know your true
self, is it possible to forget it and go back to ignorance?

Thanks!

ANSWER: It's true that when you do Zen practice, you may sometimes get big special experiences. These are passing phenomena. If you want a special experience, that's a problem. If you want ANYTHING, that's a problem.

"Enlightenment" is a teaching word, that's used in the Zen tradition to point to your just-now experience. At this moment, what do you see, what do you hear, what are you doing? That's the true enlightenment... not a special experience that comes and goes.

You already experience this moment, so there's nothing more to realize. What is your true self? If you ask sincerely, you don't know. This "don't know" is already perfect and complete. "Enlightenment" and "ignorance" are empty names; it's a duality created by thinking. So put down all such ideas, return to "don't know," and attend to what's right in front of you.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I guess I have another question on top of this one then ^_^

I'm actually asking this on behalf of my friend. You see, roughly a year ago she experienced some sort of awakening experience. She says that she was very aware of things, experienced everything with a sense of oneness and compassion, and was able to integrate this state of no-mind fully into her daily life (more or less the way she describes it).

But, after some months she says she lost this clarity in her life. She says that she no longer experiences this sense of oneness, that stressing thoughts plague her, and that she is incapable of stilling her mind.

I'm not really sure what to say back. Both of us are just lay practitioners, no teachers to speak of. I have tried to explain that seeking this experience once more like it is a goal to attain might be counter productive, and she understands, but still I am not sure how she should proceed.

Do you have any advice?

Answer
Everything in this world is changing changing changing. Sometimes we feel oneness and bliss, sometimes we feel frustration and stress. All of this is like a floating cloud appearing and disappearing. It's no problem to feel good sometimes and feel bad sometimes... but if we cling to some good experience, it creates problems.

Keep a questioning mind. Sincerely ask, "What am I?" and "How can I help other beings?" Use this questioning to return to a clear "Don't Know." Don't Know is before thinking; in don't know there's only this very moment, before ideas like "oneness" and "stress."

It's possible that you can help your friend by suggesting she forget about the past, and return to just-now. It's worth a try. Then it's up to her.