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Buddhists/Wedding within 100 days

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Expert: - 3/9/2011


Question
My future husband's mom just passed away and we were supposed to register for our marriage next month. Is it ok to do so (ROM within 100 days) or must we wait for after 100 days? She had a Buddhist funeral with no burning of paper stuff. What will happen if this rule is not followed (married within a time frame)?

Answer
Hi Lisa,

I take it that you are a Chinese.  Marriage within 100 days after death of parents is an age old Chinese custom and belief.  It has absolutely nothing to do with Buddhism.  To me this is a very strange belief.  Just ask anyone why, and see whether the person can come up with any reasonable answer.

Be that as it may, whether you wish to follow or not will very much depend on the feelings of the people around you.  Sometimes even when things seem silly, it may not be wise to purposely oppose the practice and belief.  If you do, some people's sensitivity will get hurt and this will not be good for your future married life.

Maybe ,later in your life, when you have full control of your actions and have full control of your life without any others (especially your elders) to meddle with your life, you may do what you feel is right. But right now you must be very careful not to do anything to hurt the feelings of your future in-laws. Maybe you should discuss this with your husband-to-be.

Hope this helps.

I wish you a happy married life.  

Take care.

Justin Choo

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Justin Choo

Expertise

When in doubt seek it out. All your questions will be answered, and you may not have to agree with the answers. Such is the beauty of Buddhism. You are free to decide. I follow the Theravada tradition, and have been studying Buddhism for more than 40 years. Please view my profile for more details. I have answered more than 1500 questions since joining this category. You may like to give me the honor to answer your question.

Experience

I was brought up in the 50's as a Buddhist. For the past 40 years I have read numerous books on Buddhism and listened to numerous talks on Buddhism by well-respected and learned monks and lay teachers. I conduct Buddhist classes for parents of Sunday School children in a Theravada Buddhist Temple. My teacher was the late Chief Reverend, The Ven. K Sri Dhammananda of The Brickfields Buddhist Mahavihara, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. You can view the relevent website in memory of my revered late teacher @ http://www.ksridhammananda.com

Organizations
I am a life member of the Buddhist Missionary Society Malaysia.

Publications
YOU ARE INVITED TO VISIT MY BLOG @ http://lifeislikethat999.blogspot.com/ Published a book called "The Rainbow And The Treasure". It is a compilation of extracts from various sources to introduce Buddhism to beginners. (Currently out of print)

Education/Credentials
Bachelor of Commerce And Administration, Victoria University Of Wellington, NZ.(1974)

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