Expert: Judy - 3/28/2011

Question
i am a Buddhist and i have a girlfriend.we understood about each other very well and both of us are very close to the Buddhism.there is no any sexual intercourse between us and we truly love to each other.however when we met we kissed (french kissing) and after we came home both of us were confusing about it. so i want to know  whether kissing is permitted according to the Buddhism.

Answer
Kesh,

There is nothing absolute; the universe is not black or white only.  There are always consequences upon causes though.  For some people, it is much easier to know the "rules" and follow them, in order to know what's acceptable in a norm.  On the other hand, for others, they want to find out the universal truth which may take a long time to understand.

Kissing itself can be as little as a simple kiss but also can be as arousing as foreplay, which usually leads to the next step.  Some people may be satisfied already for a simple kiss,, but others can crave more than a kiss after a kiss.  Thus, kissing itself is not a mathematical equation to SOMETHING.  What's in your mind and how you feel are much more important than a kissing ACTION.  Every element (body, mind, spirit, condition, timing, and etc) has to be present to make the kiss to become something else, to lead to something, or to just be a kiss itself.

What is a kiss; what is an intercourse?  What's the purpose of a kiss or intercourse?  Why do you kiss, and why will you have an intercourse?  All these questions I am asking are NOT black or white, or not subject to have only one answer.  They all have to do with each individual's spiritual maturity and condition.  I am probably making you more confused than ever by saying all this, so to simply answer your question on a very lose term, kissing is permitted.