Expert: Justin Choo - 7/18/2011

Question
Thank you for helping.

I originally heard about a ceremony with a monk (Tam Boon I think is the general name)for couples who may have had an abortion (or miscarriage but I wish to focus on the abortion). My wife and I have not had one ourselves and the issue is not personal in that sense. But is is an important one for me. I first heard a report on the radio and I followed it up in Thailand last month but am still seeking clarification.

As I understood it (please forgive my ignorance), the image I have in mind is of a couple before a monk having a ceremony to remember the abortion they have had. I know Buddhism holds all life sacred but what attracted me was that

* BOTH THE COUPLE WERE There (UNLIKE IN THE WEST WHERE IT IS PRESUMED THAT THE WOMAN HAS ABSOLUTE RIGHTS TO DECIDE THESE THINGS AND THE MALE IS GENERALLY EXCLUDED). As i understood the ceremony, this was a remembrance of an important occasion to do with a life that has passed (in the West we are not even allowed to say the fetus is a life).
* There seems to be no judgement or condemnation, just an acknowledgement (I see this as very helpful for the couple)
* I see this as an embracing of the complexity of the situation rather than the "black and white" western feminist position and the Christian condemnation



Any comments are very welcome  

Than you very much

John

Answer
Hi John,

There is actually no such "ceremony".  In Thai language, "Tham Boon" means simply "making merit".  It is a tradition that monks are given food by the lay devotees who believe that by doing so, they (the devotees) would gain merits.  

As far as monks are concerned, they will perform the usual rites and rituals during the "tham boon" ceremony, irrespective of what is in the devotees' mind, or their purpose of performing tham boon.  

That much, I think I'm able to comment.

Take care.

Justin Choo