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Expert: - 9/20/2011


Question
Dear Sir

Im only learning about Buddhism,I have been interested in Krishna consciousness and I love many aspects of it to be so true and good,although I may find the Buddhism somewhat more down-to-earth...:DLong story short-I am suffering with loneliness.I am a 27 year old guy,not too good looking but just about the average.I had had love relationships and i dont find to be hard to make new friends-when I say lonely I mean I simply can not find a girl for myself!I am alone since last years november.I tried-everytime the same answer-"lets just be friends":S bored and tired to hear it.

I would like to know ,what is your opinion or advice for me?Is any special view about this in Buddhism or solution?what do I do wrong?all my friends saying:"its just a matter of time"and"a guy like you will easily find somebody soon".I cant believe in it anymore,I am desperate.

Would You please tell me Sir,what can I do?

Thank You sincerely for Your kind answer.

         K.

Answer
Hi Krisztian,

Aha!  This sounds like the perfect question for "Ask Auntie Jane" column.  Seriously, there is nothing wromg with you, from your own description.  In life, some people have the natural affinity to attract others; while some are not.  I am not able to give you any concrete advice on matters of the heart.  

Buddhism is about contentment and inner peace, reducing greed, hatred and delusion.  You are still a young man.  "Desperate" should not be the word.  Perhaps a little impatient.  There are others who are older than you who face the same "problem".  Give yourself some time.  Be kind to yourself.  A little self-motivation may help.  Read some good motivation/self-development books.  Building up a sense of self-confidence can go a long way.

I wish you success. Take care.

Regards,

Justin Choo  

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Justin Choo

Expertise

When in doubt seek it out. All your questions will be answered, and you may not have to agree with the answers. Such is the beauty of Buddhism. You are free to decide. I follow the Theravada tradition, and have been studying Buddhism for more than 40 years. Please view my profile for more details. I have answered more than 1500 questions since joining this category. You may like to give me the honor to answer your question.

Experience

I was brought up in the 50's as a Buddhist. For the past 40 years I have read numerous books on Buddhism and listened to numerous talks on Buddhism by well-respected and learned monks and lay teachers. I conduct Buddhist classes for parents of Sunday School children in a Theravada Buddhist Temple. My teacher was the late Chief Reverend, The Ven. K Sri Dhammananda of The Brickfields Buddhist Mahavihara, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. You can view the relevent website in memory of my revered late teacher @ http://www.ksridhammananda.com

Organizations
I am a life member of the Buddhist Missionary Society Malaysia.

Publications
YOU ARE INVITED TO VISIT MY BLOG @ http://lifeislikethat999.blogspot.com/ Published a book called "The Rainbow And The Treasure". It is a compilation of extracts from various sources to introduce Buddhism to beginners. (Currently out of print)

Education/Credentials
Bachelor of Commerce And Administration, Victoria University Of Wellington, NZ.(1974)

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