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Question
Hello, i have a serious problem, and i don't know how to tackle it.
So, my mom has been acting really weird for half year, and i noticed she was on a dating/cheating side! I was reaaaaaally disappointed but on the same time, i know she is has been in a sexless marriage the past years and still is (because my father , has serious problems with his back and all)
But, i tried to write to her but still she is telling me lies and lies and i just came back from India and still she was cheating on my father. :( now it's like i don't want to talk to her anymore and i don't like when she is lying to me, i have proof that she is lying to me and especially her husband. It hurts me very much. What should i do? I'm scared to confront her, but she already know that i know she is seeing someone else. I really just want her to stop cheating or at least stop lying. She can't lie to me.
What should i do? Because of my beliefs in buddhism then i can't stay angry at her but it hurts me too much.

Answer
Hi Dina,
The only answer I think I can fairly give you is a hard one: it's not really your business.
People do bad things all the time, and we still love them.
The big challenge for you is to be there for *both* your parents, with kindness and forgiveness, for the time *if and when it comes* when either of them wants to talk to you about it.
The probability is that you hardly know half of what's gone on between your mum and your dad - it's always dangerous to judge.
When you make mistakes, I hope your parents will forgive you and love you still. If you can do the same for them, you will be acting like a bodhisattva!
A tough one - but your power is limited. You can't make it right for them.
Lots of luck with it!

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Alex Wilding

Expertise

I have practiced and studied Tibetan Buddhism in the Kagyu and Nyingma traditions since the early 1970s, and have a good knowledge of theory, history and of the struggles of trying to practice the teachings, including meditation, while leading a normal, modern life. I am also available to provide background information for journalists.

Experience

I have been a practitioner since the early 1970s; have run a small Buddhist centre in the English Midlands and was vice-president of Kagyu Benchen Ling e.V. in Germany, for whom I managed three large Buddhist summer-camps. More importantly, I maintain a habit of personal practice. I am the "owner" of the Kagyu list at Yahoo.

Education/Credentials
My first degree was an M.A. from Oxford. I later obtained a Master of Philosophy degree for a research thesis in "Initiation in Tibetan Buddhism" from Leicester University. I also have engineering and educational qualifications.

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