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Buddhists/Difficult people

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Question
Hello sir. I am into a partnership business with four partners including myself. Out of the other three one of them really goes on my nerves. He never accepts his mistake, infact he is an expert in forcing his mistakes on others. This irritates me a lot and i have started developing extreme hatred towards him which many a times destroys my peace. I even thot of quitting but then i realized dat i would get such people throught my life and i cannot quit every now and then. The irony is dat we used to be best of friends during college days. How do i deal with him. Plz suggest something.

Answer
Dear Gurinder,

We can only change our part of the equation. One needs to go back through the situations and re-evaluate them from a more centralized and subjective perspective. In each of those situations, we see that they are acting improper and wrong. However, we overlook all our contributions to the situation.

Sometimes people give us the wrong answer, because we ask the wrong question. Sometimes people don't ask for our opinion because we always criticize. Sometimes people are stubborn in response to us being stubborn. Sometimes a problem can be solved easily if we see that we have a part in it.

If we expect all people in the world to change to suit our needs, we will have a very difficult life. However, if we can learn how to adjust to each type of person, we can find happiness in this life.

Think about each type of person like a plant. Each plant needs a different amount of water, dirt, fertilizer, sun and care. If you treat the plant wrong, the plant will die or have problems. If you treat the plants right, they will grow healthy and provide you with beauty, fruit and happiness.

Good luck!

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Anandapanyo Bhikkhu

Expertise

I can answer questions about Buddhist practice, Buddhist understanding and how to apply Buddhism to daily life. I can help analyze Buddhist sayings and teachings. In addition, I can help with questions Buddhism stories, fables and Vinaya(rules). I have meditated for over 10 years and can help you start with meditation. In addition, I can help provide insight into what to do when you feel that you have hit a wall with your meditation. My main area of expertise is how to think in accordance with Sammaditthi (the right view - and number 1 in the Buddha's Noble Eightfold Path. If I cannot answer your question, I have many able teachers with over 20 years experience to help me, so chances are I will be able to find an answer for you.

Experience

I have been practicing Buddhism since I was born, but as a serious practice since 2003. I started studying under various famous Thai Theravada masters. Finally, I met and studied under Phra Acariya Thoon Khippapanyo who has recently passed away on Nov 11, 2008 and is widely accepted as a great Arahant (fully enlightened) teacher of our time. In addition, I have personally read and studied much of the Buddhist scriptures and popular literature available. I have recently undertaken the ordination vows and have become a Buddhist monk in the theravada forest monk tradition. I reside at a temple with many dedicated practitioners and great teachers. I have been practicing training my mind to be aligned with right view (sammaditthi) for over 10 years. I have also been meditating for over 10 years. In my time spent with Acariya Thoon, I learned many things and was able to incorporate them into my life. In addition to practicing Buddhism within temples and my home, I used to own two restaurants and managed commercial real estate. I had to deal with many different and problems. I learned how to use Buddhism to fix my problems, both externally (my environment) and internally (within me).

Organizations
San Fran Dhammaram Temple KPYUSA - a non-profit religious organization

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none

Education/Credentials
Electrical Engineering Degree from the University of California Santa Barbara MBA from San Francisco State

Awards and Honors
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