Expert: Justin Choo - 5/5/2005

Question
Dear Sir,
I don't known if it's possible to throw some light into this matter. I would like to know, briefly if it's possible, the basic teaching/behaviour or concepts of people towards their parents, or old people in general. Of course, in a Buddhist perspective.
All the best
Rory


Answer
Hi Rory,

Thank you for asking me.

The Buddha reminded us that there were gods (Brahmas) in our homes.  We are supposed to pay great respect to them.  These "gods" or Brahmas are our parents.  Need we elaborate further?  

As a good Buddhist, one is to practise compassion for all.  It is most pertinent to pay more attention to members of our family.  Respect of elders is deeply ingrained in Asian cultures.  However, with the changing trend of modern life-style, the family unit is under pressure and being challenged.  People just cannot find enough time to care for one another.  Everyone is so busy trying to make ends meet, trying to better one's standard of living, finding financial security to safeguard old age.  In everyone's mind, the fear of being neglected by family members when one is old and useless, creates enormous pressure to seek financial independence.  In developed Western countries, this problem may not be so apparent as the social security and care for the aged are well organized and implimented.

Taking care of our aged parents is not much of a problem if they are healthy.  The big problem comes when they are frail and cannot take care of their personal hygiene.  This will be a big test in our compassion and love for our parents.  It will test our resilience and affect our financial position if we are not financially sound.  And if brothers and sisters are not staying together, the big question of who is to take care of mum and dad.....????

How good a Buddhist will reflect on how much one can cope with the above scenario.   

Smile from justinchoo :-)