Expert: Justin Choo - 3/16/2005

Question
Hello, This is now my 4th time back to ask your advice.  I have read a lot about desire and the taming of desire, and although I agree with what buddhist teachings say on the subject I am confused about something.  I am a person who is happy with what I have and I like to think that I have few desires, and do not let "wanting" take over me. However, if I am for example watching a commercial about a tropical place I think "wow I really wish I had the money to go there on vacation". Although I am not looking for my fantasy trip to make me happy, I must say that I am filled , even if momentarily, with a strong desire to go on my dream vacation.  This feeling does not last, and I am not overtaken by it, but I am wondering if what I am experiencing should be considered a "bad" egocentric desire or not?  

Answer
Hi Greg,

Nice to hear from you again.

Quite a lot of people misinterprete the concept of "desire" in Buddhism.  The Buddha's language in Pali for "desire" is "tanha".  The closest in English would be "thirst".  When we are thirsty, we must quench our thirst.  The problem comes when our thirst is unquenchable.  The Buddha was concerned over this aspect of unquenchable thirst.  When we want more and more; and when we want what is unattainable, then we create problems for ourselves and others.  In the normal conduct of our lives, we must understand that there are definitely certain things that we need, plus something extra which will provide us the comfort and happiness in our worldly lives.  We should not equate this everyday yearnings with the Buddha's concept of "tanha", otherwise, we will become mindless zombies.  The Buddha never discovered something to make zombies out of all of us!  As normal human beings we are subject to worldly "desires" to comfort our senses,  as well as to keep up with the times, so to say.  It is perfectly normal (and actually to be encouraged) for lay Buddhists (i.e. Buddhists like you and me) to behave just like anyone else, minus the negative and unwholesome behaviour.  

Another aspect of Buddhist practice is to know how to differentiate between worldly life and the "aryan" or strict spiritual life.  If we still want to lead a worldly life, then we must balance our life-style between practical worldly needs and certain spiritual principles that a good Buddhist should adhere to.  If we want to place spiritual values above all else in order to eradicate the defilements once and for all, then we have to live away from the worldly activities.  And the best way to do this is to become a monk, or to go into some remote forests to practice with diligence.  There is this choice that one can choose.

Greg, as a lay Buddhist, please enjoy yourself and have peace and happiness.  Be contented with what you have.  But this must not stiffle you to seek progress and improvements in your life.  The Buddha did not ask us to kill our senses and desires.  The Buddha pointed to us that while enjoying ourselves, we must be contented while at the same time, must improve our status in life.  The only caution is not to be too crazy chasing after material enjoyment without limit.  Practise the Middle Way, be realistic, and pratical.

Hope to hear from you again. It's a pleasure communicating with you.

Smile from justinchoo :-)