Expert: Bodhicitta - 3/11/2006

Question
Hello, my name is Joanne and I am a 30 year old single mom from the Philippines. I was born and raised as a Catholic, but have recently been studying about Buddhism. I think I understand the Four Noble Truths, but I am having a hard time applying this wisdom to my everyday life. The thought of my son and I living in poverty for the rest of our lives in a very scary thought for me. I have to have goals and dreams, and work hard so that one day we could live comfortably. My question is, does "letting go of desire" mean I have to give up my dreams and just accept who I am in my present situation, letting go of all motivation to achieve a better state of life? Is it even possible to be detached, while wanting something at the same time? I hope you can help me with this.... Thank you so much in advance....

Answer
Dear Joanne,
Thanks for your question and your interest in Buddhism.

I am sorry that you and your son are living in poverty and I can understand it is hard.

"goals and dreams" are tricky things. It all depends what
we set out heart on really. We could set our hearts on
wanting a new car, or a nice pair of shoes. But the car
will break-down and the shoes will wear out. Ultimately
those things won't produce happiness.

Buddhism is really about finding something that will not let us down that we can set our hearts on and it will produce true happiness. This is what Buddhism is about - finding a hidden treasure in our hearts that is real, will not let us down, will not fade or age or breakdown.

Buddhism really is beyond mundane hopes and dreams. Beyond wanting cars or money. Many rich people live in turmoil and misery so that ordinary worldly goods arent the end of the spiritual path.Everyone rich and poor is going to become ill and die.  Buddhism says that life is an illusion and we
grasp at things that are not real and cause ourselves misery.

Buddhism is a precious treasure in the world. Learning meditation and seeking truth is a precious use of time
and health.

So Buddhism is not about giving up the dreams and goals.
But finding out what goals are worth while. Buddhism is
about awakening to the reality of the world and seeing
what is real and what is not.

Maybe we can afford to relax and open out to the world.
Have confidence in our hearts in the hidden treasure that we have.

Doing your best in your situation for yourself and your son
is fine. We all do the best we can with what wisdom we have.

The Buddhist path is about training, using meditation and learning about something beyond our small lives. It is
really completely beyond the question of our mundane
hopes and dreams. So do the best you can as loving mother
on a mundane level. But cultivate your spiritual search.
The two levels naturally mix as you meditate your heart
opens up and you slowly see some holes in what appears
to be a solid claustrophobic world

I wish you every happiness and the causes of happiness Joanne.

Bodhicitta