Expert: Bodhicitta - 7/20/2007

Question
Lately, my meditation sessions have taken a turn for the worse. I realize you aren't supposed to "grade" sessions as good or bad...and I am. I cannot seem to "watch" my thoughts or moods during the meditation - I'm overtaken by a sense of "get up you have things to do," I get overwhelmingly itchy, my breathing is all messed up (pressured, jerky, can't let go), etc. The whole "monkey mind" thing is exponentially worse - now my thoughts are going, going, going even when I'm sleeping. I can barely get through thirty minutes of meditation. I do not want to give this up. Can you give any guidance about this period I'm going through? My gut tells me that it's transitory, but it's grueling to say the least. Heeelp.

Answer
Dear Alia
Well I usually refuse to give meditation advice. I always feel
people should receive individual meditation instruction from
a suitable teacher and go back regularly and review their experience.

I can not really say what your situation is without meeting you and knowing you. I would see its possibly a transitory thing. Maybe the only problem is that you  believe there to be a problem. Traditionally they would say work on discipline - maybe take the Buddhist five vows or refuge. Becoming inspired again , read stories about teachers of the past and read sutras. Also generate merit, give gifts to the dharma and to those in need.

Good luck
Bodhicitta