Expert: Justin Choo - 3/13/2005

Question
Hello,

This is my 3rd question to you, and thus far I must say your answers have been excellent.  I have been actively practicing buddhism for a few years, and recently I noticed a strange cycle developing in my mind.  I will be calm and mindful for about 2 to 3 weeks and then have a week where everything irritates me.  People at work, at home, my friends, waiters, bank tellers, you name it.  Nothing in particular is making me angry, I just simply "am" angry. During this period, meditation is very difficult, should I be letting myself just be during that period, or should I fight harder to return back to a calm state?

Answer
Hi Greg,

Welcome for the third time.  It gives me great satisfaction knowing that my effort and contribution are appreciated.  Looking forward to welcoming you more often in the future.

Now coming back to your question.  If I could rate your practice, you have passed with flying colours!  Just imagine; in a period of 4 weeks;  you were calm and mindful for 3 weeks, and only "irritable" for just 1 week.  That gives you 75% grade...an "A" grade!  Congratulations!  For most of us, we are still struggling to maintain just a few moments of mindfulness each day.  

The practice of the Buddha's teachings is a gradual process and a life-long journey.  Different persons will progress at different pace.  It all depends on the temperament of the individual.  In addition, we must not forget that each of us has brought with us the level of mind cultivation from our past lives.  So, it is a matter of "to each his own".  The most important consideration is that all of us proceed on the same journey, but at different pace and different rate of progress.  Realizing this fact, we can travel the journey of truth and peace with happiness and contentment.  Let time and patience be our teachers.

Life is like a straightjacket.  The more you struggle, the tighter it becomes.  You cannot fight life by force.  It is through patience and understanding that we can escape its grasp.  Whenever you have the spate of negative feelings, the proper response is to note that feeling without any judgement....just note, period.

As for meditation, you are supposed to note the present moment and to "let go".  You are not supposed to "fight harder to return back to a calm state".  Remember the straightjacket, you cannot fight back.  The only way is to note and be patient.  Remember, we have all the time in the world to practise Buddhism....it's a life-long journey.  Take it easy, Greg.

See you again?

Smile from justinchoo :-)