Expert: Bodhicitta - 4/12/2006

Question
Hi

I never really paid much attention to Buddhist teachings in RE class back in High School, i was too busy trying to cause trouble.
I'm not a very happy person. I suffer with a condition called trichotillomania which causes me to pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows and has done since I was 8 years old. This has caused a lot of trouble for me and i don't think i've ever recovered.
I can be aggressive and frequently feel suicidal, i react in a pretty unfair way to the opinions of others which I hate. I hate the way the world is becoming and crave peace so badly that sometimes dying seems the only option. I know that I have this happiness within me somewhere but I just cannot find a way to keep it.
It is important that you understand I don't like religion, I don't like Christianity or Catholisism or the Jewish faith. I don't like religions that seem to strive against one another to be the chosen people of God and I don't like the modern day people who sin 6 days a week and pray on the 7th! Frankly, it makes me sick and I want to get away from it so presently I tell myself I have no religion although I am supposed to be Christian!
I respect the concept of God and if he is up there I respect him, however, I think that the churches we prey in are full of corruption and I am fed up of the fact people seem to look upwards rather than inwards. It's the easy way out for a population of fearful people who behave like sheep... as you can see aggressive opinions.

I don't know very much about Buddhism is the first thing. All I know is that it seems to match with the person I want to be, peaceful and above all respectful of OTHER species - I watched a documentary which told of how buddhist monks allow cobras to roam as they will around the temple... others would have them turfed out or killed and this is sickening to me. Another thing I want to be able to do is to accept others ignorance and have the skills to be at peace and accept things I can't change in the world.
Please could you tell me what Buddhists worship? Where the story comes from and what following buddhism means?
I don't want to commit to a religion I will not be able to give 100% to.
I would like to just state that unlike some people I do not want to join this religion purely for my own means.... I would like to use it to help and respect others, to better myself for the wellbeing of the poeple around me and to stop putting those around me in so much pain through whatever it is my soul finds so troubling.
I have no self esteem, i subscribe greatly to the physical beauty aspect of being a woman, I don't want to... I want health and happiness and with that comes beauty.
I may be delusional to some but in my opinion I can see the madness that surrounds this world and my western life with 9 - 5 office job just makes me miserable and sad. I see so much beauty around me in all of the things I believe that mother nature (I do not call it God) created and it is all being destroyed.
If you could give me some information on your religion I would be so grateful. One of my favourite sayings is that if the whole world were buddhist there would be no wars because i truly think that buddhism is the way forward.

I think that rather than saying that I should actually act upon it and use my life instead of watching it pass me by dreaming of what could be. I am so desperate to make a difference and be happy and end my sadness, anxiety and stress and the negative feelings I spread to others in my never ending search for the solution to lifes problems. I am the solution, I just need some guidance on how to go about solving. If this makes sense. I hope so. I'll stop rambling now.

Kind Regards

Helen.  

Answer
Dear Helen,
Thank you for your full and heart felt message.I can understand only too well  your sentiments.I think you
for sharing them with me.

I assume you are in Great Britain? I have messages from
every country. I am always interested about from where and why people ask the questions they ask.I myself am
in Britain.

If my initial answer to you is brief then forgive me.
But I will try and go to the heart of your question. Please
feel free to come back to me for more information or to comment on my reply if
it feels that the direction is one of interest to you.

There are many forms of Buddhism in many countries and
many cultures. So if you look out across the world at what
is Buddhism it may present itself as a set bewildering imperfect set of contradictions. So I would say to you be discriminating and careful in your examination of Buddhism
as you would with anything else.

My own approach to Buddhism is to go right towards the essence of it
and to the origin and it is about this that I will speak.

Buddhism has its historic origins in India - 2500 years ago. The Indian word "Buddha" means "awake". Buddhism then is the
path of awakening. You ask what Buddhists worship? Well
Buddhists do not worship God. But instead they value
truth, and awakening to reality. It is said in Buddhism
that everyone has deep in their hearts enormous potential
for wisdom and compassion - but this is covered over
so people act with ignorance, aggression and greed.
People quite literally create the hellish world they live in through being confused.

Buddhism is the path to enlightenment, a path back to the heart, a path away from suffering. The tools of Buddhism
is a system, or path of training using meditation for
rediscovering the nature of the mind and the world.

So in answer to what do Buddhists worship? Well they worship truth, experience, reality. There is no sin in Buddhism, there is no God, there is no one who is damned and beyond help. Buddhism is a path of optimism and immediacy.There is just lots of beings blundering along
making a mess of things.

I think if people believed that deep in their hearts there
was everything they needed and that they did have self worth and that they were buddha's in training then life
would be better for them. It is possible to learn meditation from a Buddhist teacher, it is possible to
find alot out about Buddhism, but actually a simple belief
in the indestructible wisdom and compassion of the heart
is already enough to quite literally change the world.

I wish you well Helen,
Bodhicitta