Expert: Joe McSorley - 11/15/2004

Question
Who/what acts?
sorry this is all a bit garbled- and reads more hostile than I intend.
For  example :
it is suggested-precepted to practise 8fold path or sit zazen.
Do "I" make the effort to practise?
but there is no "I"?
I have no control over the thoughts that come into my mind I cannot create /design the next thought that comes to concsiousness - so therefore my actions , good or bad are fate  or karma or some such.
Samsara/dukha is therefore the illusion I can control destiny get enlightment.
Practising , any effort what-so-ever
(negative or positive)is the cause of duhka and eternal ignorance.
gassho


Answer
Dear Geoff,
You're on the right path here as frustrating as it might seem.  The self that seeks to solve the problem is, in fact, the problem itself, trying to solve itself and therefore a huge dilemma.  There was an historical meeting years ago between Paul Tillich and Shin Ichi Hisamatsu and their dialogue went like this:
PT – If I follow a path I won't get there?
SH – That is correct.
PT – But if I don't follow a path I won't get there?
SH – Correct.
PT – But that's a dilemma!
SH – That's the path you follow.
 Hismatsu, at another time summed it up like this: if whatever you do or do not do, will not do, what do you do?  Just that.

Now this might sound like double talk but it's not.  What Hisamatsu was telling Tillich is that you cannot solve it by striving or not striving, it goes beyond both.  Now this creates the obvious dilemma of , what do I do?  This dilemma creates a blocking of the self reflective process of the mind and hopefully compacts it to the point of awakening.  Let me give you some more concrete ideas of this in other aspects of life.
  I had one of my martial arts students present a similar Zen problem to me lately along this line; ‘If I strive I can't do it but if I don't strive I can't do it, sounds like nonsense to me or you're hiding something'.  I know that this fellow is quite a prolific boxer and is very quick and fluid with his motions. He moves very fast and effectively with no effort or thought.  I said to him, “when you started boxing could you move so fast and effortlessly?”  He said, “No”.   I asked, “Did you wonder how your teacher could move so effortlessly?”  He replied “Yes, I couldn't figure it out”.  I said, “ Right, you couldn't figure it out so what did you do?”  He said,” I practiced the combinations and techniques diligently”.  I said, “ That is a conscious effort, correct”?  He said, “Yes” and then I said, “ but you do you fight unconsciously now?”  He said, “Yes”.  Then I said, “How do you do that?  You practiced to be conscious of your motion but now you are unconscious of it, isn't that a paradox?”  He thought for a moment and said, “I never really thought of it that way”.  I said, “ So you've accomplished no-motion by practicing motion and at some point consciousness was replaced by unconsciousness, you are now a boxer by not boxing, correct?”  He said, “Yes, I never think about it, it just happens now”.  I said,” But you think someone who accomplishes this by practicing zazen, koan practice or mindfulness is somehow different than this, that it might be nonsense?  If  your boxing teacher had told you to practice boxing in order to stop boxing would you have thought him crazy?”
He pondered this and replied,” Absolutely, it would have made no sense but it makes perfect sense now.”  I asked, “ How would you teach someone to do this now?”  He said, “It would be very difficult but I guess the same way I was taught”.  “So they would need to have trust that you were telling them the truth when you ask them to practice this way, right?” I asked.   “Yes, but they can see that I can do it, that my skill is deeper than their practice” was his answer.  
  It is similar to what you ask me.  I play several instruments and it is the pinnacle of playing to just play, wei-wu-wei, but to do so I have to practice technique but technique is the antithesis of playing, so what do I do?  If I don't practice technique, I won't get there, but practicing technique might actually prevent me from getting there, so what do I do?  I need to practice technique in order to discard, overcome or empty myself of technique, so that which is practiced and that which practices are one and the same, problem and solution.  The one who acts and that which is being acting compresses into one block, the great doubt, so that I might become the music and play free and unfettered by thought or technique.  It is the same with practice in Zen.  No matter what practice you do you are doing it to overcome practice to overcome the dichotomy between acting and actor, between questioner and question, to break down the separation that the mind creates in order to allow an awakening to the moment.
  So the dilemma is what you follow in boxing, music or enlightenment.  You stand in the way of your own awakening.  By acting upon it, you create the self that stands in the way, by not acting upon it the self still remains.  So acting upon it, itself, is not enough nor is not acting upon it.  As practicing an instrument is both the problem and the resolution.  You act upon it to overcome acting upon it, to the point you lose the distinction between the seeker and that which is sought and the opportunity for awakening is created.  So, no effort is dukkha and effort is dukkha, both are creations of your mind, overcome both.  How can you do it?  You can't but you have to and that is the dilemma you must face.
  I hope this has helped you.  Take care,
         Joe