Expert: Bodhicitta - 9/25/2006

Question
hello, i have just begun my buddhism journey.  i have started by reading books, attending a few lectures, & researching on the web.  in july of this year, my cousin passed away from cancer at the age of 18.  i would like to know how a buddhist would deal with the death.  what is their point of view when dealing with the grief from losing a loved one?  in other words, how do they view the passing of a loved one.
thanks,
deana
new jersey

Answer
Deana
It is hard when a loved one passes away, a real challenge, and it fills us with sadness, anger and regret.

Death is an important part of the Buddhist path. In your studies you may well study the life story of the Buddha. The young prince who would later become the Buddha, or awakened one was struck by his first experience of death. It is often called the divine messanger.

The message of death challenges our usual view of our egocentric view of life. we act as if we are imortal, as if we will live for ever. In fact the world is telling us nothing lasts long, everything is fleeting and impermanent.
We should wake up and take an interest in the deep meaning
of life and the nature of our minds.

The Buddhist path is about making sense of our own nature and then having worked with this the nature of the world and the others in the world.

Maybe the world is not what it seems and our deep relationship with others is beyond the fleeting appearances.
Maybe through Buddhism, through practicing meditation we
could find a connection with our loved ones that is beyond death. If we could get a hint of this we would be less troubled by the loss of our lived ones and friends.

I wish you well deana and hope you are inspired to investigate for yourself the path of  Meditation !

Bodhicitta