Expert: Justin Choo - 5/11/2005

Question
hello Justin I am back again.  Recently a friend of mine did some things that hurt me very much.  I won't go into details but lets just say that she did some very deceitful and manipulative things to hurt me.  Now I have used my buddhist wisdom to understand that she is foolish for trying to gain happiness by hurting others, and I do not want revenge, I simply explained to her how I feel, wished her well and told her we will not be friends any longer.  The problem is that my meditation practice is now suffering.  During meditation my mind aches with hurt, I am not angry and I have tried a "loving-kindness" type of meditation but still my mind races with hurt.  What can I do during my practice to help this? I know deep down inside that this situation will pass, but right now it hurts.  Thank you Justin for your advice and I hope you are happy and healthy.

Answer
Hi Greg,

Yes, you are back again...9th time!

Remember I told you about the straight jacket simile?  The more you struggle, the tighter its grip.  You must not dwell in the thought.  You have to just "NOTE" the thought, period.  When it comes again just note and do not pass any comment for or against.  Do not hold court and do not be the righteous judge.  Otherwise, you will fall into the trap set up by your egoistic mind trying to justify this and condemning that.  By the time you realize that you are wondering, you would have come full circle!

Waiting for your good news of teaching your mind a lesson!

Remember you cannot turn back the clock, or manipulate time.  But you can take control of the point in time, by just "noting" without judgement.  After awhile it will become "nothing".  But it will come again, then you "note" again.  It is a big "battle".  This is Dhamma.

Smile from justinchoo :-)  Waiting for your tenth visit!