Expert: Bodhicitta - 5/4/2007

Question
Hello,
I am reading a book on Buddhism called "Eight mindful steps to happiness". Im very interested in Buddhism. I am only 18 years old and I am a catholic, only because I was raised this way. This was not my choice. I want to eventually become a Buddhist. I am very worried though about letting go of attachment of family and friends. I really dont understand this. Also I enjoy playing poker, where and how does this fit in. Andrew Black, a famous poker player is Buddhist, so I believe its acceptable. Please help me out.
Thanks,
Mike

Answer
Hi Mike
Thanks for your email and question.

It is good that you are exploring spiritual traditions and
reflecting and making your own mind up on what feels true
and what does not.

Buddhism is a search for truth, to awaken. The only thing
that is valid is your experience. No one can tell you what
to think. Only you know what your experience is. The main
practice in Buddhism is meditation, you use meditation as a
tool to gain greater openness and clarity about experience
and the world.

You say you are worried about letting go of attachment of friends and family. In Buddhism what you let go of is not
friends, and family and loved ones, but rather some false
confused set of relationships with them. Buddhism is always
a step towards reality, increased openness and truth. Not
as some people think a withrawl to a dark place where you
can't relate to anyone.

So you could explore the nature of these relationships and seek to meet them in a very honest way. By being authentic and true and being open to them you might relate to them
for the first time. Confused attachment to some projected
version of them might fall away, and real connection
between what you truly are and what they truly are might
come to the fore.

I was interested to hear that you like poker. Poker is an interesting game. You could play with poker as a Buddhist
practice as you can with all life situations. Maybe you
decide that you will give everything you win away so that
all of a sudden it is no longer claustrophobic and full of
a story of gain and loss. You could
really feel and open out
to what is going on in the game and the relationship with others and your feelings during the game. Everything in life
could be an opportunity to train in openness to truth (mindfulness)

So Mike I wish you well with your initial exploration of Buddhism. My advice to you is to move slowly, explore different traditions and ideas as a sceptic and check they
make sense, you do not want to just rush into some substitute
for your old religion. If you can find a teacher you trust
and have confidence in, learn to meditate with them.

Feel free to write me again. I have email and chat too
if you send me your email/IM address via a private mail
we can chat more if its valuable.

Good luck, be of good courage, and of great openness.
Bodhicitta
England