Expert: Jay Remer - 2/4/2011

Question
My boss has requested I ask for an invitation to an annual dinner hosted by an organization via a professional acquaintance.  For reasons unknown to me, my company has been not been invited for the last 2 years. My boss would like our employees to attend this year. As I am not in a position to decline this “request” from my boss, how do I approach my acquaintance in a way that does not embarrass me, my boss, my company or my acquaintance?  I must do this via email. What do I say? Please and thanks.

Answer
Dear Linda,
Thanks for asking this great question. First of all, you are not responsible for anyone's embarrassment other than your own. I can understand the complexity of this situation could put everyone  in an awkward position. My advise is to keep everything straight forward. Something like this may resonate. "Dear John. Bill Smith, my employer, has a lot of admiration for your organization and would very much like to subscribe to your upcoming annual dinner. Please let me know if a table would be available. Sincerely yours, Linda"

If the dinner is not by subscription, but is only by invitation, then if you cannot cross your boss, you must explain the fact of the matter to your acquaintance. Just convey facts. Keep your feelings about this in check, hard as that may be to do. Your boss has really crossed the line here and if you insist on delivering his request, you will need thick skin.

I hope this helps. Jay